
Issue 3
Editorial Board
Editor in Chief: Ella Taft
Deputy Editor: Hana Carlson
Editorial Assistants: Chase Agudo, Sarah Duncan, Ana Goyle, F. El Idrissi, Caroline Powers, Evelyn Yang
Accessibility Team
Director of Accessibility: Yusra Khalil
Representative: Julieta Cerda
Representative: Matilda Yiu
Publicity Team
Publicists: Ana Goyle, Sarah Duncan, Juliet Higgins, Ella Taft
Web Design: Ella Taft
Respite
Writers
Ella Taft
Hana Carlson
Juliet Higgins
Ana Goyle
Eleonore Mordacq
Julieta Cerda
Lyria Hunte
Yusra Khalil
Matilda Yiu
Caroline Powers
Zoe Cobb
F. El Idrissi
Sophia Z.
Bella Holt
Bernie Ince
Evelyn Yang
Chase Agudo
Sarah Duncan
Aojia Wang
Jaden Lai
Amy Smout
V. Rowny
Noshin Sayira Torsa
Serena St. John
Seoyun “Elsa” Lee
Dennis Taft
Hannah Rhee Kim
Yue Y.
Mia Saira Gyani
Henry Johnston
Sadé Williams
Mishka Suri
Zoe Friedland
Aicha Benchemsi
November '25
Contents
-
Introduction
-
Shattered Petals: poetry
-
Reflections of Light: personal essays / narrative journalism
-
Corolla's Looking Glass: flash fiction / vignettes
-
Notos and Eurus: literary analysis / criticism
-
Fractures of the Lexicon: continuous works (novels or dramatic scripts)
Represented Countries
America, India, Chile, Morocco, The United Kingdom, China, Singapore, Canada, South Korea, and Australia

CONTENTS
PERSONAL ESSAYS / NARRATIVE JOURNALISM
POETRY
FLASH FICTION / VIGNETTES
LITERARY ANALYSIS / CRITICISM
The duplicity of a bound: a lively leap, or an unbreakable tether?
Photo Credits and Cover Design: Ella Taft
INTRODUCTION
A Letter from the Editor in Chief
Dear All,
A few weeks ago, I tried to force myself to relax. I had done everything “right.” My desk was organized. I made tea. I lit a candle that promised something frivolous like lavender meadow at dawn. Jazz was playing from my iphone, I had splashed water on my face, and my hair was pulled back. Then, I sat on my bed, took a “deep breath”… and immediately started mentally reorganizing my entire to-do list in alphabetical order.
So I gave up.
I played a few discordant chords on my keyboard, which had been set to some jarring setting of a synthesizer pad. Eventually, I got hungry and wandered into the kitchen to peel open a tangerine.
It wasn’t poetic. It wasn’t productive. But I wasn’t trying to be anything. I wasn’t trying to create some false environment. I blew out the candle and sat at my desk, orange in hand.
And somehow, that was enough.
I think we misunderstand rest. We treat it like an assignment—something that must be optimized, aestheticized, or earned. I realize now that respite doesn’t announce itself with a checklist. Sometimes it’s unremarkable. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes it looks like doing absolutely nothing, badly.
This third issue, Respite, came together in the midst of a very un-restful world. News channels on the TV were clicked through. Deadlines may have been missed. Emails were sent at odd hours. I think we all forgot to drink water more times than we’d like to admit. And yet, piece by piece, these students, writers, siblings, and friends have taken the time to form creation anyway, despite all the destruction around us. Here are stories that slow down time, poems that notice the small things, moments that breathe instead of rush.
In the fall, we welcomed fifteen new members into our society. I am so honored to work with them, share their narratives, and watch our community expand across over ten countries. While some of our members welcome sunny days in their part of the world, the weather in the city is only getting colder. We’ve been pulling out coats, gloves, hats, and scarves from cardboard boxes, long forgotten. The other day, I found a crumpled receipt in the pocket of a jacket I haven’t worn in months. The ink had nearly faded. It listed items I don’t remember buying from a place I don’t remember going. For a moment, I tried to reconstruct the day—who I was with, what I was thinking, why any of it mattered. Then I stopped. I folded the paper back up and put it back. Maybe history doesn’t have to be remembered in order to exist.
I think rest is like that. It’s a fragment. A pause you don’t always recognize while it’s happening. Something that only makes sense in hindsight — if it ever needs to make sense at all.
As Thanksgiving season ends, we return to schedules, inboxes, and obligations that never quite learned how to pause. The table has been cleared, the leftovers tucked away, the familiarity of shared space dispersed again into separate rooms and separate lives.
So I don’t ask you to read this issue quickly. Or efficiently. Or even in order. Read it the way you would stare at a keyboard, peel an orange, or linger five minutes longer in a car before going inside. Read it like a small rebellion against a world that demands constant motion.
If this issue offers you even a single quiet minute, then it has done what it was meant to do. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sincerely,
Ella Taft
Editor in Chief
Founder of GLS
SHATTERED PETALS
Poetry
Timeless Hearts
BY MISHKA SURI
They say love blooms on even ground,
Where years align and steps are sound.
But hearts don't count the age we bear;
They beat for souls, not graying hair.
She spoke of stars and winds that roam,
He talked of debts and building home.
Yet when they laughed, the sky stood still,
As if the world had bent to will.
The whispers came with furrowed brows,
Of time too stretched to make love vows.
But love, unruly, wild, and brave,
Refused to rest inside a grave.
His hand was worn, her skin was bright,
But in their gaze, they shared one light.
Not youth, nor age, could dim the fire,
For love alone had shaped desire.
So judge them not by numbers told,
For hearts don't rust, and love's not old.
The gap, though wide in others' eyes,
Was just a bridge beneath their skies.
The religious atheist
BY AICHA BENCHEMSI
A stubborn faith
A fate engraved in the state of creation
A whole-hearted convincedness that contradicts the notions of rationality so admired by men
Most deny this contradiction
Continue to lead a life of backtracking and sometimes second-guessing and blind eyes
deliberately covered by hands in denial for fear of the unknown being fatally bright
Some plunge into the opposite extreme
Could it be called denial of faith?
A life dedicated to the human tendency of blind and bias worship
Both faiths are stubborn, arrogant even
One snobbishly mounting a ten story steed, claiming that he is RIGHT. SMART. RATIONAL.
The other pitifully scoffing, “your fate is sealed and we are forever separated by a divine chasm”
The distance between the horse and the ground as well as the space in the chasm exists only within the
confines of the human ego
Brought together by the subconscious human desire to trust and believe
To be guided and governed
Telepathy
BY V. ROWNY
floating in space
in a liquid goo
but don't worry, i'm with you—
with the first blow
chocolate dino, strawberry kitty
misty window in the cold
a warm little breath
making a star
hair pulled out, purplish blue
The style now
pink petals falling
it’s that time again
baby locks, barbie dolls,
eating fries off the floor
pinkie crescents around the eyes
the locks on the ground
the wind folds
angels breath
succumbed to
small little giggles
like the snap of a soda can
the rustle of wrappers at 2am
every now and then
we are back on the trampoline
counting “helipopters”
with sticky fingers
but most of the time
what is he even thinking?
Submerged
BY AICHA BENCHEMSI
When someone says they feel like they’re drowning it’s not always because of the lack of air—
It’s because of the savage current
A swirling and raging and crashing of waves as if your own mind had a personal vendetta
against itself
A fight so strong that you would never use on anyone but yourself
This is what drowning feels like
It feels like you jumped into a river wholly knowing you wouldn’t come out but then refused
to admit your fate
Hundreds thousands millions billions of
EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE
What do you do?
“I dare you to lie down and relinquish,” the demon on your shoulder says as he readies his whip
for another hit
Admit defeat and crumble into the hard ground , no one will come help you, you have no one to
blame but yourself
NO
Spit at the demon, spit at the version of yourself who is mean scathing terrible horrid, a version
you would never inflict upon the ones you care about
Writhe violently against your chains and yell that you will never be beat
You will never be less than
Then stop.
He wonders if you have died
If your light has gone out at last
Little does he know you burn fiercer than ever
Deep deep deep
Within your mind you venture
Beyond the rage and the desire to rip through everything everyone it all
Far past the sorrow and hurt
The scared child confused by all the yelling and unsure of where she is
The broken girl crying at your jailer’s harsh words
There is a certainty.
One you had forgotten just minutes ago,
You feel confused as to why but, as you go farther you begin to feel a warmth
An inkling that starts to put you at ease
Blindingly, gloriously it all rushes back
I am strong? Loved Rational Bright Worthy
I am good.
The bindings dissolve
Your step is heavier, but your heart lighter and your hearth brighter
Academia
BY SERENA ST. JOHN
extolment and putrid veneration
flow from my still beating heart
through my veins, weed like. overpowering.
and twist around my mind until it bleeds
bubbling fat-scalding, acidic, dripping
slowly through the fissures of my hemispheres
until the pieces split and fall apart
down onto the ground in front of me.
but it isn’t enough; they grip me by the hair
and shove me atop the shambled pieces
forcing an assimilation of flesh,
but only my skin melts into the pavement.
Muse
BY NOSHIN SAYIRA
I kiss him,
letting the age gap dissipate.
It forces itself into my heart,
and I take it.
I want to be wrapped in that sticky love. I want to feel it around me and in me.
I want to stop breathing, I want to stop being myself,
let me be one with him. I don't want another version of life,
let him be my life.
I want to drown, I want to be stripped of myself, I want him.
Let me die
and be reborn as his wife.
Let my life be simple.
I hear his voice everywhere I go.
I lucid dream until it all becomes slippery, and he's all I see.
I feel his hands around me while I walk alone.
I kill myself believing he will revive me.
I knew who I was from a young age.
My friend asked me, “what do you regret the most?”
Naturally I say what I did with him.
The police asked me, “would you like to press charges?”
(The pity in their eyes made me want to kill them)
I said no. Politely.
I look in the mirror and ask myself, “do I know what intimacy is?”
The girl in the reflection laughs and gives me a smile.
Merely O’s
BY HENRY JOHNSTON
What could be blood?
Of course blood is
the river that takes each breath to shore,
the maid sweeping cellular detritus up,
the march that our fierce little white blood cell board to reach their battle.
But that’s what blood is to a 21st century student like me.
What was blood to, say, a Jewish peasant in the bronze age?
Blood was, like everything else, a gift from the almighty God,
a present bequeathed upon an unworthy race doomed to sin from conception. Yet Blood,
despite or perhaps due to its grandiose origins, was the notion of legacy liquified. Blood
runs thicker than water
(that’s how the cliche goes).
One might argue that theism before Darwin was excusable,
ergo this interpretation is at least
metaphorically, philosophically, epistemologically semi-valid.
But then in the same vein of pre-science logic,
we have to examine the fact that blood changes color often.
From its plum appearance underneath veins
(actually an extremely dark maroon but the eyes are faulty)
to the scarlet spray of an open slash - wherever the substance appears on the wavelength
spectrum, it’s time there is bound to be ephemeral.
There was a reason the Greeks and Romans distinguished the blood of their gods, calling it Ichor.
There was a reason why letting ‘impure blood’ is included in the French national anthem. There
was and still is a reason why the notion of racial bloodlines fills the rhetoric of bigots across time
and space from the Third Reich to the Confederacy to Project 2025.
What could be blood?
Could it be time with family and friends?
The choices you make to cement your impact on the world after you're long gone?
Or is it just marks on a sterile chart:
O’s, Negative and Positive.
Harmoniously,
BY SARAH DUNCAN
We sit at opposite ends of the bridge
and I reach for a glimpse of your eyes
before I find the words to bridge our divide.
I’ve dived in knowing
I can’t swim.
In those few minutes before I expected to drown,
fragments of your soul floated around,
and I heard its mellifluous sound.
The intricately strung violin
whose melodies are woven into the words you’re first to say
are a complementary harmony to your spoken tenor of bass.
My heart echoed its rhythmic beat,
thumping along to your song
until my composition was regained.
When you pulled me to the surface,
like a fish out of water, I gasped for air.
Beneath us,
two lonely rivers consume each other
when they converge as a larger stream.
Their journeys become intertwined
and the glimmering body’s tranquil trickle
reflects the harpsichord greeting you at heaven, or in your dream.
Perhaps I could strum my fingers through your hair,
but I want to soak up our song
and bathe in the melodies drifting through the air.
cookies, anyone?
BY CHASE AARON AGUDO
and for a few moments,
glimpses of infinity
will waft up like cigarette smoke
in my vicinity.
they'll tell me, soft and slow,
“some worlds you'll never know
until you are willing to brave
the rain, weather, and snow.
but should the journey stop
and Earth start caving in,
you must be brave enough to see
what a road it has been.”
Four Cadenzas
BY ELLA TAFT
1.
I hear witches preserved
Lizards in glass jars. They died, but
Saw everything magnified, like how we
All do before
We can get out.
2.
You’ve held the lighter to the
Wood the entire time, waiting for kindling
To catch, and calling them sparks—just tell me
You need warmth.
3.
Our people glassblow tulip mosaics,
The martyr’s prison turning bleak,
Their world distorted into color—
But all the while, they cannot speak.
4.
To all the rotting wrong
Maps that gave bad directions to
Worlds yet undiscovered: I’ll never know
Why you thought
What we had was never enough.
Bird without wings
BY ANONYMOUS
Who saw a bird without wings,
No one can hear his chirpings.
The rain wets his feathers,
He is bound by invisible tethers.
He did nothing wrong,
But he was accused of guilt for too long.
This world is always so unfair,
But who will care.
The bird is kind,
But it bears the greatest malice in its mind.
No one knows the bird's glory.
Only I know its story.
are you ok?
BY AMY SMOUT
are you ok?
i’m seven years old.
i’ve just hurt my knee,
playing with my friends.
a nice lady gave me a plaster,
i’m ok!
are you ok?
i’m eight, i’m a big girl now.
i didn’t get the doll i wanted for my birthday,
it’s ok, the toys i got were amazing!
mummy said i could play with them all day,
i’m ok!
are you ok?
i’m nine and a bit.
my teacher at school is really nice this year,
i love her so much.
mum and dad are sending me to after-school clubs a lot,
i like being at home… why do they do that?
i’m ok though!
are you ok?
i’m ten, my favourite number.
the schoolwork is getting hard now,
i like it though, it’s fun.
mum and dad are arguing every day and night.
i’m looking after my baby sister for them —
i think they’ll thank me.
i’m ok, i need to sleep.
are you ok?
it’s my eleventh today!
i’m curled up on the bathroom floor,
sobbing with this horrible pain.
my tummy is a punching bag for someone strong —
it’s so sore, i can’t think straight.
i look so different in the mirror.
i don’t like it.
my mum holds me and says it’s part of growing up,
and that we need to go shopping together.
i’m not ok. why does this have to happen?
are you ok?
i’m twelve and a few months.
secondary school is just around the corner,
i’m absolutely terrified.
what if people don’t like me?
what if i’m a neek?
what if i’m not cool enough to be liked by a boy?
what if they all think i’m a freak?
i’ll get lost on my first day,
probably be late to class.
i’ll embarrass myself over and over —
it’ll be so horrible.
do i really have to do this?
well… here we go.
i’ll be ok!
are you ok?
i’m a teenager — it’s official now.
i’m starting to hate school.
i don’t want to leave home anymore.
it’s horrible out there.
there are these girls at school,
with their slim waists and good grades.
they have boys tripping over their feet for their attention —
they don’t even care about them.
they laugh and smirk as i pass them by.
it makes me hate myself even more.
my grades are slipping.
i used to be so smart.
that was my best feature —
now i’m worthless.
i only have a few friends.
they don’t like me; they make it so clear.
why am i even here?
i’m not ok.
are you ok?
i’m fourteen. who cares though?
my friends have finally left me,
in the worst way possible.
they confronted me the other day,
after my final class.
they asked, “can we talk to you alone?”
and i said, “sure, why not.”
the worst answer possible.
we sat down around a bench,
and i braced myself for what they were going to say.
they said some horrible words.
i came so close to crying.
they said i was an attention-seeker,
selfish, rude, and dumb.
they said nobody cares what i do or say —
they apparently checked that with everyone,
and they all agreed, more or less.
i’m really not ok.
are you ok?
i’m fifteen next week.
that doesn’t mean much right now.
i’ve got a lot more on my mind than that —
mostly exams.
i sat my prelims a couple of months ago.
i didn’t do so well, and i disappointed my dad.
he pushed me to study hard and long, 24/7,
so i could get my grades right up
and not let him down.
my parents got in a huge fight last night —
there was glass broken and punches thrown.
i held my 4-year-old sister the entire night.
i didn’t dare sleep,
or cry, for that matter.
came down this morning,
in a flying hurry.
i was going to miss my final exam.
i just had time for my bruised mum to tell me what happened —
my dad had packed his stuff and left.
turns out, i failed that exam.
and all the ones before.
i simply couldn’t think.
my mind went places i didn’t know existed,
and stayed there for years.
i’m somewhat of a fable now —
the straight-A student turned idiot.
my ex-friends use me as an example
of what not to do at school.
i’m now in their guide: “how to become a freak 101.”
as if i wasn’t embarrassed enough.
otherwise, i’m ok.
are you ok?
that’s what the nurse is softly asking me.
i scream at her that i’m not,
then i break down, telling her i’m so sorry.
she says she is too.
my poor, sweet mum —
i loved her so very dearly.
when i got the call from the hospital late last night,
i came so very swiftly.
mum has been sick for a while now.
i was her personal carer.
i was driving my sister to nursery every day,
and picking her up again without fail.
i dropped out of school a while back —
my grades were bad anyway.
i couldn’t handle the stress when my mum got sick.
something had to give.
she went into hospital yesterday morning,
for a major surgery.
this one was essential in her cancer battle —
it had to go perfectly.
i changed the hospital’s ringtone on my phone,
so it would wake me instantly.
that ringtone didn’t fail me,
when they told me to hurry.
i woke my sister,
with great difficulty.
i pulled some mismatched clothes over her head,
and bundled her into the car.
i’m going through driving lessons —
i’ll be honest, i’m not the greatest.
that didn’t matter right now.
i forgot to be scared.
i slammed my foot to the floor,
and skidded out the drive.
i had memorised the route to the hospital previously,
in case this happened.
i burst through the hospital door,
my sister in my arms.
the nurse recognised me instantly,
and told me to follow her in a near sprint across the hospital
to my mum’s ward.
she looked so very pale.
i rushed to her side.
i fell to my knees and squeezed her hand,
trying not to let my tears fall,
trying to hold myself together —
for both of them.
it’s been a month since my mum lost.
i hope she’s happy up there.
i send her my love every single day,
and i wish her goodnight.
i’m now my sister’s legal guardian,
because there was no one else.
her dad is in jail for tax evasion,
and mum and dad were both only children.
it’s ok — i love raising her.
i treat her like my own.
i shall always be there —
a place she can call home.
i’ll be ok.
are you ok?
i’m doing a bachelor’s in psychology.
i’m behind, but i’m catching up quick.
i’m really enjoying it!
my sister lives in my apartment —
she goes to the local high school.
i met this amazing man.
we’ve been going out together.
compared to my childhood,
my life is a lot better.
i’m finally ok.
Choking on Mirrors
BY V. ROWNY
Iridescent shards
Piercing into my bubblegum pink larynx
A scream held in stasis
Shielding the shimmer
With a polite smile
And a nod
“Yes, this is okay.”
Shards which shimmer like the eyes of them
Each one a mirror
Of a word gone unsaid
I am choking on invisible glass.
But,
Tell me, muse,
What is the point of setting fire to a star?
Did you know,
Flashing a floodlight at the sun is futile
The brightest ache dissolves
As quickly and yet as slowly
As the icecaps
Melt
In a world drunk on its brilliance.
I once whispered to a comet—
I asked if it ever got tired
Keeping a flame
Burning
For those who would never see it fall.
Muse,
Did you ever bleed for beauty?
Did you ever sit on the sterile floor?
Did you ever have to wait and wait until everyone had left just to get up and change cars again?
It hurts like fucking hell.
The wounds like
Lagoons
Turned into ravines.
But muse tell me why:
Why I was stripped of my clothes,
My dignity,
My patience,
Surrounded by the wishful roars of bears.
Why
Muse,
Would I rather die here?
Longest Wharf
BY HENRY JOHNSTON
A crack splits the wharf pavement—a thin,
ragged scar where the city bleeds out to the harbor.
Oil tankers ghost the horizon,
their steel hulls swallowed by the world's deep curve.
The sun sets like a copper coin flicked into a pool,
it’s gleam absent from the spokes of my bike.
Quiet families own the picnic tables; they wait,
moored in a silence without ambition.
Litter spills from the phalanx of trucks,
loud in their blown-up color:
a commerce of steaming platters and ice-tinged soda,
desperate and bright.
Above, the interstate hums,
a roiling sea raised on the huge, stone legs of a caterpillar.
The noise is a penetrating whoosh—
electric purrs, rubber, combustion, and the cajoling or irritable honks.
The silver hinge of my Ray-Band flash,
In brilliant dissent against the fading light.
The reason for the ride escapes me:
not the screen, not the pull of old waters,
but perhaps the gulls, wheeling and shrieking, avian emperors of the poisoned asphalt.
REFLECTIONS OF LIGHT
Personal Essays / Journalism
restful chaos
BY EVELYN YANG
I’m not a restful person. I only mean this in the way I never let myself have a moment—it feels like I’m breaking a rule to let myself breathe. To breathe means to recollect, and I’m not capable of that unless I’m overthinking. The concept of having space for nothing is scary, for what am I if not a collection of distractions? If it’s silent, I need music; if I’m anxious, I’ll fiddle with my rings; if I’m bored, I don’t stay bored. I’ve learned to stay in constant motion, just like the rest of the world around me.
I think I’ve picked up this restlessness with my relationships, too. If I ever think a friend is angry with me, I’ll never let the thought escape. Instead, I’ll brush my teeth and contemplate how to make it up to them while looking in the mirror, or take a sip of water and wonder if their anger has dissipated. Sometimes, I can become obsessed to the point where I’m just ruining my entire day. For someone who’s never believed in letting one thing dictate your day, it sure happens a lot. It becomes this cycle. I’ll believe any semblance of friendship is over until I see them and everything is lovely again. And it’ll be delightful to have such a wonderful friend until I get the idea that I’ve messed everything up. It’s like a part of me is so used to chaos that it seeks to create disorder out of anything around me.
The point is that I hardly feel a sense of relaxation unless I know that I can fully relax. Those moments are awfully rare. Summer only comes around once a year, after all. She knows to be fleeting, or else I’ll pull her into the rest of my disarray, the disorganization of living among the moving. For nothing exists in stillness, not even in the summer. Even when I crack open a new book and read for hours, I’m still turning pages among the stillness. There is vitality in silence, too. Nothing is ever completely motionless.
I know all of this, but I still try to find those moments of peace. I’ll glimpse such moments when stirring a steaming cup of tea with a singular chopstick, and even feel it as the warm liquid travels down into my stomach. Taking a moment to check on my plants reminds me that I’m allowed to have seemingly trivial things to care about. As I pick out my outfit, I relish in the fact that I have a moment to do so. When life feels less busy, I realize I can be too. Maybe I fail at it a lot. But it’s still something I want.
It’s not in my nature to rest. Yet, I try to convince myself I deserve it.
Everyone Has a Time
BY NOSHIN SAYIRA
Whether you're talking grades or age, it's just a number. The law is only broken if you get caught. A problem is only a problem if you make it one. It's only unhealthy if you end up in the hospital. The words only hurt if you let them. Whatever you want to do, do it, because no one really cares.
[X]
Everyone has a time where they wish they were older. I remember looking at my mom and thinking that I want to be older, just so I could be like her. It seems there's nothing she can't do. She's always doing everything in the house, for every problem she somehow has a solution, and she reads the world as if she knows it all. But, for someone who seemed to do everything, she also somehow did nothing at all. My mom and I were never really close. She never seemed to have the time for me. There was always more cooking, more cleaning, more calling, more important things to do. I didn't think much of it, I thought her actions spoke louder than words. But sometimes all I want is her endless attention and to just play.
Once, when I was five, I had a frisbee and I wanted my mom to be on the other side so we could throw it to each other. I told her this and then proceeded to throw the frisbee. She never looked up from her phone and it ended up hitting her in the eye. She looked up, froze in shock, and then screamed, “Why do you hate me!?” My brother then came and got mad at me and kicked me out of the house for a few hours. I didn’t really cry, I was just really confused. I was eight when I realized that my family would never play with me.
Supposedly, when you grow older, daughters and mothers grow closer. Apparently girlhood is common ground and something you bond over. I wouldn’t really know. Our talks would never exceed a few sentences because she always had something to do, so I got used to talking to my unicorn plushies. I could sense between me and her something like a dark, empty chasm forming but the title of mother and daughter kept us somewhat together.
Maybe all of this makes her sound like a bad mom, but I could never hold it against her. My mom was an extremely intelligent woman and would have had a very promising future in Bangladesh if she decided to stay and pursue a career. But she didn't. She decided to give it all up and move to America to be a mom. When she had kids she never took a job because all she wanted to do is be there for her children. And then, my mom struggles a lot. She's always had a weak mental state and over the years it just worsened. And on top of all that, she has always had health issues. From diabetes to cancer, she’s had it all. So I never hated her, it's the very least I could do for everything she goes through.
The longest conversation I've had with my mom is her describing all the ways she would end her life. It was at eleven that I decided I would never want to be like her. Sometimes I get nightmares of her fantasies coming to life, and all I can do is cry. Sleep and I aren’t friends anymore, but nobody really cares.
[X]
Everyone has a time where they weren’t able to recognize a warning. Instead of following my brother into his middle school, my parents put me into homeschooling from the age of ten. My homeschool was a supposedly religious place, so we ended up spending most of our time in Islamic classes. Being in Islamic classes surrounds us by men, men who swear they know what’s right. I remember being told by one of my teachers that because now I’m a grown girl, I should cover my face. He said the world was dangerous, and I’m too beautiful. I smiled, I wanted others to think I was pretty. I never thought anything of it because some Muslims do believe face coverings are mandatory, and just because I don’t doesn’t mean I need to argue with him over it.
I regret not listening to him. I should’ve seen it coming. It was sickening. I was so scared of losing all of myself.
Going to school became terrifying, every second there I spent looking around. I tried pretending it didn't matter, but I couldn’t bring myself to go anywhere alone anymore. I was stuck, if I were to speak up about it I would most likely be called a whore or they wouldn’t believe me. And if I didn’t, I had to deal with it. It was hard to make a decision, it felt like I couldn’t think properly.
Then he got fired. He was play-fighting with a kid and then punched the kid so hard he passed out. After he got fired a lot of things came to light, like how he was taking the older boys to hookah lounges, how he had a wife and kids back in Egypt who he completely abandoned and just got married again in America, and how he was running from the police. I wasn’t surprised. I wonder how it would be if my story got added on to that list.
Then he died. The Musjid said he had a heart attack, but really, he overdosed. They could never admit that they hired such a person. He just got to come and go like that, and the things he wanted to do, he did. Justice would never be served, and my time with him would never be heard, because no one really cares.
[X]
Everyone has a time where they don't agree with someone else’s judgement. Being homeschooled shut me off from the world. When I walked into Stuyvesant at the age of fourteen, I had no idea what the American culture was. It was annoying to pretend I did, but I never wanted to let the facade down. Honestly, I was doing good, until I found out that one of my relationships was apparently illegal. I had no idea, nothing between the words and kisses seemed like it was breaking the law, but I found out the hard way. School opened a case on him and all I could do was just sit and watch. All I could think about is how I would absolutely ruin his life, when all he wanted to do was love me. They interviewed me at school and then came to my house the next day. The guilt was already eating me alive even if I didn’t know what was going to happen. There was a female and a male officer. They joked they were Law & Order: SVU in real life. They looked at each other and laughed. I looked at them and didn't. It was probably the worst attempt at making the mood lighthearted I've seen in my life. They started to make small talk as if they aren't here to make me die of guilt. I was filled with impatience. If there were no consequences, I would’ve kicked them out by now. Then, after what seemed like eternity, they got to the point.
“Your parents mentioned that you guys didn’t want to press charges.”
What? When did they say that?
“So, just to ask you, would you like to press charges against him?”
Would? Would? I had a choice? Seriously? They wanted to make such a big deal out of this and then leave it up to me? You're kidding, right? Right?
And then I realized I was expected to actually answer the question. Would I like to press charges against him? How the hell am I supposed to answer that? If I said yes, I'd be ruining his life, but if I say no he gets away with doing what he wanted to do and–
“No she wouldn’t,” my dad said.
“She doesn't want to do anything to him. Let him be.”
“Sir, it's her call to make,” the officer looked at me “You don't want to?”
“...No, I don't,” I responded quietly.
“Are you sure? Do you want your parents to leave?”
“No. It's fine.” I said with confidence that I did not feel even a small amount of. I felt their disappointment pour out of their pores, but I didn't care. This is what happens when you want to give people choices, so deal with it. They handed me a pen, and I wrote my signature that now felt so silly and childish even if one day I thought it was cute.
Signing that paper made my worries melt away, but it felt like signing a permission slip for him to never leave me. Yes, I think of him constantly. I don't care if it's illegal. The memory of him drives me to despair but our extreme love, which filled my life and soul, never seemed to disappear from me. I think the case was unnecessary, I think pressing charges would push it too far. Even now, I wish for nothing but happiness for him. But it's unfair how he faced nothing while it still affects me everyday. I want him to feel bad, to be hurt as a payment for all the sleepless nights, for all the times I can’t bring myself to talk to a male teacher. I wish for there to be a middle ground, I wish that they would really hear me out, and not be wrapped up in their ideals, but no one really cares.
[X]
The numbers, the rules, the actions, the words—they're all just accessories you're offered to decorate the self that no one would be able to tell you the first thing about. I don't know what the point of being honest is, people will just read and close the page, they'll listen and just nod, they'll advise and walk away. So whatever reckless, stupid thing you've been stopping yourself from doing, do it. Let the actions you struggle to tell be the ones you become.
hide and seek
BY ANA GOYLE
Content Warning: Allusions to dementia
Let’s play a game of hide and seek.
You’ll hide and I’ll seek.
I squeeze my eyes shut.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
Ready or not, here I come!
i. the bedroom
I open my eyes and see my dad sitting on the tip of my bed. “The earth rotates around the sun. It takes 365 days and that is a year. Other planets rotate around the sun too. There is Mars, Jupiter, Saturn… You could be on Mars one day,” he whispers. He leaves, and I think about what he said. Stars fill my imagination, swirling and twirling. Spaceships with my name on them and astronaut suits. I think about a man on the moon, spinning thread in a circle and circle. Again and again, making sure it never stops turning. I think about how at night, I walk and the moon follows me. I think about how the universe goes on and on and on. Forever and ever and ever. The way that we keep turning and turning. Like the dreidel I played with at school today.
ii. the living room
It is cozy and perfect. My grandmother is doing her daily sudoku. My grandfather is sitting back, reclined in his cushy armchair. Suddenly, almost in slow motion, he falls. It is only a few feet, but something about him feels so helpless. He lies like a turtle on his back, legs sprawled and glasses on the floor. My grandmother tries to heave him up, but he refuses. Who are you? Genuine confusion clouds his face. And that’s when my rosy cheeked, hershey-kiss-giving grandmother shrieks. UP. UP. UP. Get up! Neither look back as I run into a bedroom and slam the door with up, up, up still ringing in my ears. My tears form a river as I cry and cry and cry.
iii. the bathroom
I smell the acrid scent of vomit and the reek of desperation. It takes me a little bit, but I eventually realize that it is coming from me. For crying out loud, it was a tennis match. It is only a tennis match. But I know that it is more than a tennis match. It is a test for the future. I started playing so late. I hear the whispers from the younger kids. How is she going to play in college? She’s way older than us and I just beat her. Today was my chance to show them wrong. To beat the other kids and live up to my potential.
I look at myself in the mirror. For a moment, I wonder if the trick from that Ted Lasso episode I watched with my parents last night will work. I raise my hands and cup them into fists. GRRRRRR, I yell, trying to make myself as tall as possible. I feel utterly ridiculous. I pause and take a good look at the frizzy strands of my black hair, my sweaty face, and my visor, which is too loose for my head. I will not be afraid.
iv. the office
My fingers trace the lines on the smooth, wooden desk that stands before me. The fresh paper crinkles in my hands as I painstakingly flip through all the pages to see how long the test is. I have spent hours at this desk, preparing like a soldier for battle. The Hunter test—to get into a competitive school—is a few weeks away and I am not ready. Not yet. But all I can do for now is return to my papers and exams. Continue diligently. So, although I hear the squeals of delight from my sister and my cousins playing, I stare back at the paper, raise my pencil like a blade, and continue.
v. the kitchen
My grandma is making something in the kitchen. I tip-toe closer and closer until I can see the flames licking the pot. Underneath the pan, flickers of blue and orange flames mix together, swirling, forming a feisty slithering snake. It lunges towards me, but quickly retreats back with a hiss, twisting back around the metallic pan. What’s that, I ask, my fingers twitching as if I am about to grab it. It’s dal, she responds.
Dal, what’s that? It sounds unnatural on my tongue, like metal clanging against the roof of my mouth. Nothing like the soft, elegant way she pronounces it. Guess I have to wait and see. I set the table and my parents, my sister, my grandfather, and I all sit down. My grandma sets down the dal, which looks like a lentil soup. I raise the spoon to my lips and my mouth explodes. I can taste the turmeric powder, the lentils, the rice. My sister tells us how she accidentally gave someone a wrist-burn at school. We are sputter-laughing, and for a moment the whole world tastes like home.
Found you.
COROLLA'S LOOKING GLASS
Flash Fiction / Vignettes
Your Wife
BY AOJIA WANG
Ma Liya and Yue Mingzhu
The air was tense in the Yue pavilion.
This was the home Yue Mingzhu had grown in. The place where Ma Liya would often be found. Today was especially unnerving; the servants didn’t dare look at Lady General Mingzhu. They didn’t even raise their heads from their trays, avoiding erupting her temper.
You couldn’t blame them. The air tensed in her waking presence as her animus eyes pierced through with the sharpness of her blood-stained blade. Her long light blue braid swung around with her harsh movements.
The servants moving past her loud steps could hear her breathing, and it terrified them. Softer steps hurriedly followed, but those steps weren’t light either.
Ma Liya quickly rushed behind Yue Mingzhu, desperately trying not to make a scene in front of all the servants and possible spies.
Mingzhu shoved the door to her chambers open as air spilled into the darkness. The candles that were burning a second ago went out. Yue Mingzhu’s handmaid quickly realized the situation, and stopped playing with the candles. She covered her face with her hands cupped and sleeves.
“AhMing! You can’t just…not talk to me!” Ma Liya yelled, her hand gripping on the parchment doorway.
Yue Mingzhu did not say a word back, but only silently huffed and inhaled.
Ma Liya walked into the room, not even bothering closing the door. Yue Mingzhu’s servant silently tried to creep out, and closed the door behind her. The handmaiden sighed in relief before hearing another scream and perking up.
“Yue Mingzhu! As your princess I demand you speak to me!” Ma Liya’s voice rang out.
“As my princess?” Yue Mingzhu scoffed, turning to look at Ma Liya, “I apologize, your highness, I forgot our relationship was only master and servant.”
Ma Liya stared at her, stunned. For some reason, these words from her burned in Ma Liya’s chest.
“If it’s the only way to get you to speak to me, then yes.” Ma Liya bit her lower lip, her eyes beginning to form a glossy layer.
“What is there to say?” Yue Mingzhu’s brow furrowed with her sharp gaze, “What do you want me to say?”
Ma Liya panted, “Don’t you at least…want to say goodbye to me?” Her shoulders tensed.
“No.” Yue Mingzhu coldly responded, before turning away again.
Ma Liya approached to grab her wrist, “AhMing, you must have something to say. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be acting like this.”
Yue Mingzhu stood there silently. Ma Liya couldn’t see her face, but she stared at the ground deep in thought. Then she pulled away.
“You didn’t even argue. You didn’t even try.” Yue Mingzhu’s hands gripped into fists.
“Is this what you always wanted?” She continued, with her chest pounding from pain.
Ma Liya looked up at Yue Mingzhu while grabbing at the other girl’s shoulders. Her eyes widened with head shaking, “No! Of course not! Who would want to be forced into this?”
“Then why did you do it? Why did you allow this?!” Yue Mingzhu whipped around and forced Ma Liya to let go, “Why couldn’t you have fought harder?”
“...” Ma Liya’s eyes wrinkled with her brow. Seeing Yue Mingzhu like this was rare to her, and it made the pain in her chest more intense.
“I must for our nation, AhMing.” Ma Liya’s lip trembled as she hung onto the responsibility of her position, “It’s not up to me what history my family decides I will live.”
Yue Mingzhu’s expression soured, her frown became a snicker.
“Really…” Yue Mingzhu scoffed, her palm bled as her nails dug into them, “History?”
It was a promise that they’d change the world. That they’d make it together in books future generations would read.
“Do you really think history will remember you?” Yue Mingzhu’s laughter had a hint of sarcasm that was quickly replaced by anger.
“Will they know your skill in calligraphy? Will they know you loved to play guzheng, and will they know your favorite color is blue? Will they know you make the best pork zongzi!? ” Yue Mingzhu’s words spilled onto each other with her angry tears, “Tell me! Will they know?”
Ma Liya just looked at her with pity. Yue Mingzhu hated it when she looked like that. It always made her want to comfort the girl, but she held back. Her chest was full of burning heat like a fever.
For a moment, there was only silence and the sound of heavy breathing. Ma Liya looked down, and closed her eyes.
“No.” Ma Liya responded, “Of course they won’t.”
Yue Mingzhu stayed silent while saving her breath; the day was already turning to night.
“But…” Ma Liya reached for Yue Mingzhu’s hand. She held her palms over and under the bloody hand, and gently pressed her soft hands over rough ones.
“At least…you do, right?” Ma Liya raised Yue Mingzhu’s hand and hers, pressing a light kiss.
Yue Mingzhu’s expression softened, “I don’t need the world to remember the real me. I only want you.” Ma Liya looked up at Yue Mingzhu.
Mingzhu knew all they’d ever wanted was to be remembered. Her glare became pitiful in Ma Liya’s eyes. It was regretful. Her bloody hand trembled in Ma Liya’s.
“You won’t have me once you leave tomorrow.” Yue Mingzhu’s eyebrow twitched again, “You’ll be someone’s wife.”
Ma Liya lowered their hands and intertwined one hand. “I know,” her voice trembled.
Yue Mingzhu’s hand gripped tightly onto Ma Liya’s, and it burned. But nothing hurt more than knowing.
“We won’t ever see each other again,” Yue Mingzhu said under her breath, but loud enough for Ma Liya to hear.
“. . .”
“I don’t want to be anyone’s wife but yours,” Ma Liya leaned forward into Yue Mingzhu’s touch, “Please, marry me tonight.”
Yue Mingzhu’s eyes fluttered down at Ma Liya, instinctively brushing her free hand against the back of Ma Liya’s hair.
Yue Mingzhu took a shaky breath and closed her eyes.
“I will.”
Ma Liya rested on Yue Mingzhu’s chest, then lightly let go of her.
“Then let’s make it official.”
Ma Liya walked over to the table, grabbed a piece of large parchment paper and ink. She prepared the ink and held her writing hand’s sleeve with the other, then wrote “喜” on the paper.
Yue Mingzhu watched as Ma Liya stuck the paper onto the wall where they usually sat.
“Is it okay if you wear my mother’s dress, Ma’er?” Yue Mingzhu suddenly asked, causing Ma Liya to turn around.
Ma Liya thought for a while then smiled, “Of course, I can’t get married in blue. Right?”
“But…what will you wear?” Ma Liya asked.
Yue Mingzhu approached her wardrobe and took out a box, “I’m already wearing red. Though it’s simple, I want to see you wear it at least once.”
The blood had already started to dry on her palm.
Mingzhu opened the box and held up a decorated red hanfu with gold and teal accents.
“It’s my first request as your husband.”
Ma Liya looked at her lover, and sighed with a soft smile, “Of course.”
The sun was setting already by the time Ma Liya had changed into the detailed gown. Yue Mingzhu lit the candles and admired this blossom. She made her feel enamored.
“How do I look?” Ma Liya twirled slowly.
“Like a plum blossom, my love.” Yue Mingzhu smiled somberly.
She sat down on the bed, and looked at the box. The red veil was left. Ma Liya approached her to hold it up and let it fall on Yue Mingzhu’s head. This all made Yue Mingzhu conflicted, and she turned her head upwards.
“My husband, you make me very happy.” Ma Liya got on the bed, “Let your braid down, I want to see AhMing.”
Yue Mingzhu leaned into Ma Liya’s shoulder, “Would my wife brush it for me then?”
Ma Liya closed her eyes and untied the ribbon on Mingzhu’s braid.
“Of course.”
She brushed through Yue Mingzhu’s hair with her fingers, passing through dry soft locks. Yue Mingzhu embraced Ma Liya, closing her eyes as well.
Yue Mingzhu murmured under her breath, “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a grand wedding. One a princess like you should’ve had, where thousands of our citizens would watch.”
Ma Liya’s eyes opened slightly, then gently pulled away to look at Yue Mingzhu in the eyes. She looked for just a minute, and she thought the girl was really adorable like this. Then she leaned into her shoulder on the side.
“I don’t care about that. Only the sky and the earth will know. Nobody else.” Ma Liya rested on Yue Mingzhu’s shoulder and intertwined their fingers once again, “Not even our descendants, not even history.”
“Then tonight,” Yue Mingzhu’s eyes became red and her voice coarse, “we are husband and wife.”
Warm droplets fell from Yue Mingzhu’s face. She didn’t know if the tears were coming from anguish or happiness anymore. Hearing Mingzhu like this made it harder for Ma Liya to hold back the tears.
Ma Liya sniffled, “In this life and the next, you are my only husband.”
“And you are my only wife.” Yue Mingzhu’s hand gripped tighter.
Their tired eyes didn’t meet, but the warmth of their bodies was enough.
“Ma’er.” Yue Mingzhu called out, “When you leave, can you do it before I wake up?”
Ma Liya’s heavy eyes lowered.
“It’s my final request as your husband.” Yue Mingzhu embraced Ma Liya with one arm; it felt like they didn’t have enough time to be intimate anymore.
Ma Liya closed her eyes, “Yes…”
“Tonight, you are my husband…and I am your wife.” Ma Liya murmured to her with a smile and a laugh. Almost as if it was funny how fate played with her.
That she’d be wed to the only one she loves, but not even for a day.
Before they fell asleep together, Yue Mingzhu’s mind rang with only one phrase she never said out loud.
‘So we won’t ever have to see each other again.’
いってらっしゃい、エレン
BY F. EL IDRISSI
“I hate you.”
Emptiness was all I saw in those teary eyes on your face, plastered with pure distaste. Those eyes used to look at me with such innocence and love… However, I must admit, there was always a type of anger incrusted so profoundly in your own heart.
And I chose to embrace it instead of hate you for it, of course—
Even as you use that anger to tear me apart for what my heart was always most willing to dedicate.
“心臓を捧げよ”
Profound where? Just there. There, where I thought I knew you like the back of my hand. But in reality, I only knew you as much as I knew my fingerprints, so complex and unknown…
But still. Just there.
“Ever since we were kids,”
I’ve dedicated my heart to you—to protecting you, to feeling you, to loving you,
.
.
.
to living you.
Despite my duties to protect you, I held you, freshly beheaded, at the end of it all.
You remember it, right? When we both died but only I continued breathing for a time longer than the one I’ve known you for?
“I’ve hated you, ミカサ.”
Somewhere tangled along the blurred, thin lines that roam between destruction and devotion stood that tree we always laid under.
Where you’re buried now, I lay bawling my eyes out, forever tied to you.
I guess you always had that effect on me, didn’t you?
But I didn’t kill you out of hate, エレン.
“ Even after I die... I want to be at the front of her mind for a while… Ten years, at least-”
…
“I’ll see you later, エレン.”
Don't Expect Anything.
BY YUSRA KHALIL
Not knowing what to expect, she simply left it to fate. The only thing in her mind was a quote: “if you don’t expect anything, you can never be disappointed.” So she didn’t expect anything—and got a delightful surprise. She went walking around the city; it was safe enough to wander aimlessly, but crowded enough to reassure her that she was not alone in a place full of intellectual ghost legends. Historical ghost legends that once occupied the medieval buildings surrounding the area seemed to create an atmosphere of achievement. Every street, every corner, every road had a story. She listened to each story, giving each equal attention. As she made her way back, she admired the sun slowly setting, creating a concoction of the night’s majestic blue and the day’s worn out orange. The gentle breeze of the restless wind settling down to enjoy the night refreshed the bright minds with a dash of ice, healing the wounded. Finally reaching her destination, she laid down with her crusty hair and worn out clothes. staring at her roof. She realised that, even if she had expected much, her surprise would have been just as delightful.

Photo Credits: Yusra Khalil
Ah-Ma
BY AOJIA WANG
Miaomiao’s memory of his mother
The rice fields stretched far beyond the house, pale green and gold under the evening sun. Their roof was crooked. The wind came in through the walls. And yet..
His mother never stopped moving.
She was at the hearth now, sleeves rolled, fingers raw from cleaning fish. The oil in the pan spat and sizzled as if angry to be tamed.
Miao squatted next to her, arms tucked in, watching her.
“Ma?” His voice was soft, almost swallowed by the crackling.
She didn’t look up. “Hm?”
He hesitated. He wasn’t sure what he meant to say.
Maybe ‘I had a dream last night’ or ‘there was a bird with white feathers outside the window.’
Something silly. Something childish.
Something he knew didn’t matter.
Instead, he said, “Do you think I’ll be someone, one day?”
She paused, just for a second. Then resumed gutting the fish.
“Someone?”
“Mn. Someone… different. Special, maybe.”
She huffed, but not unkindly. “Special people don’t worry about being special, Miao.”
“Eat what’s in front of you. That’s enough.”
He lowered his head.
The wind rattled against the thin wooden walls.
He wanted to say, That’s not enough for me.
But she wouldn’t understand.
No one here did.
She never said I love you.
She never asked about his drawings.
She never listened when he talked about dreams.
…
But she always made sure there was food.
Always made sure his shoes were dry.
Always scolded the neighbors when they looked at him wrong.
So he told himself, That’s love, right?
Even if it was the kind that never touched the heart. Only the hands and knees and tired back.
Baba
BY AOJIA WANG
Miaomiao’s memory of his father
It rained that day. Not the angry kind, but soft, slow— like the sky was dozing off mid-weeping.
Miao sat under the awning of the house, bare feet caked in mud, chin tucked into the small gap between his knees.
His mother was inside.
Tired. Working. Not speaking.
Then..
A voice behind him.
“Still so small, Miao’er.”
Miao turned.
His father stood there. Water dripping from his sleeves, hair uncombed, eyes crinkling at the corners like he always knew what no one else did.
“Baba,” Miao whispered. He hadn’t meant for his voice to soften like it just did.
“You waiting for me?”
“No,” Miao said, almost instantly.
But he had been.
His father crouched beside him and pulled something from his sleeve. A bun; steamed, hot, and sweet with red bean paste. Miao’s favorite.
“Don’t tell your mother,” he winked.
Miao took it, holding it like it could vanish at any moment.
“How long are you staying?”
His father paused. That smile again… quiet, guilty, evasive.
“Just tonight.”
It was always just tonight.
“Did you bring stories?” Miao asked, his voice caught.
He hated sounding young to this man.
His father leaned back on his hands, eyes on the grey sky.
“Of course, but they’re not stories for children anymore. Want to hear about the boy who built a kite so big it touched the moon?”
Miao nodded quickly, the bun already forgotten.
That night, they sat by the lamplight. His father spoke of impossible things... paper wings that cut through clouds, animals that would never die, stars that sang to people who listened.
Miao soaked in every word like it was a prophecy.
“Is any of it real?” he asked.
His father smiled faintly. “Does it matter, if you believed it while I told it?”
By morning, he was gone.
No note. Just a coin on the table, and the scent of smoke from a pipe that hadn’t been used in weeks.
Miao didn’t cry.
He sat by the door again and bit into the last half of the bun he’d saved.
It was cold now.
But still sweet.
NOTUS AND EURUS
Literary Analysis / Criticism
The duplicity of a bound: a lively leap, or an unbreakable tether?
BY SARAH DUNCAN
With all due reverence to Arthur Dimmesdale, Nathaniel Hawthorne conveys throughout chapter 18 of The Scarlet Letter that Dimmesdale’s Puritanism is not a decision, but truly a trap. After he committed adultery, Dimmesdale’s religious guilt evidently weakened his body, but prioritizing his reverential reputation continues to weaken his mind. When Hester Prynne clandestinely met with Dimmesdale in the forest, away from the judgment of the town, she told him that his life is also being drained by Roger Chillingworth watching over him with malicious intent. His guilt left him unable to act upon the knowledge, and he depended on Hester Prynne for a solution. Because she already became estranged from Puritan law after the townspeople outcast her, she told Dimmesdale to leave the colony. Dimmesdale can only briefly entertain the decision, and it becomes increasingly difficult because he has no familiarity with engaging with anything outside his religion. Although Dimmesdale may be temporarily enlivened by the decision to flee to Europe, because his Puritan nature is so deeply entrenched within him, he was not truly enlivened.
The narrator suggests the unfamiliar joy that considering fleeing brought Dimmesdale is transient as his burden inhibits his ability to entirely experience pleasure. Beginning the passage with the passive dependent clause, “the decision once made,” shows that his excitement is passing and highlights his dependency on Hester, as he is unable to take action within the sentence. He has to escape his comfort zone to fully immerse into enjoyment, shown by the comma creating distance between the two clauses, but he is too dependent to do so. After Hester makes the decision, Dimmesdale feels an incoming “glow of strange enjoyment,” which connotes an unwavering, steady shine. Describing it as something unfamiliar, suggests that Dimmesdale will abandon the joy because it’s unnatural to him. After it “threw its flickering
brightness” it transforms into an unsteady quality upon reaching Dimmesdale, rendering the enjoyment more impermanent. Throwing the glow implies too great a distance between Dimmesdale and enjoyment for him to reach it, and he will not take action to bridge the distance. Dimmesdale cannot receive the light as “the trouble of his breast” diminished its shine, which leads the active descriptor’s strength to conform to the passive syntax. Though the enjoyment casting itself “over the trouble of his breast” implies a measure of coverage, the guilt troubling his “breast” shrouds him to the extent that it becomes a force counteracting light, or rendering it more ineffective. His breast holds onto guilt with such an authoritative grasp that nothing can remove the trouble and no light can penetrate the shroud. Referencing that his “breast,” where he wears his Scarlet Letter, counteracts the light, proves that his guilty heart is stronger than the glow’s efforts to lift his burden. When Dimmesdale encounters pleasure, his guilt prevents any further progression of joy.
Although Dimmesdale feels invigorated when he temporarily escapes Puritanism, the narrator suggests that its establishment within him continues depleting his life. The passive syntax negates Dimmesdale’s enjoyment by saying “it was the exhilarating effect,” contradicting that something “exhilarating,” or enlivening, should be concrete instead of an impermanent “effect.” Referring to the enjoyment with the pronoun “it” rather than with specification reiterates that it lacked clarity after reaching Dimmesdale’s heart. It emphasizes that the glow’s failure to enliven his emotions and Dimmesdale’s failure to accept light will lead him to die without freedom from guilt. The em-dashes contribute to the negation as they disrupt the sentence flow and separate him from exhilaration. Being the “prisoner” having “just escaped the dungeon of his own heart” shows that Dimmesdale is still in close proximity, and the em-dashes also confine him within the clause. The syntax emphasizes “his own” heart’s agency in his imprisonment because it is a direct, conscious result of internal religious judgment. It further implies that he is unable to venture beyond his nature, and he remains tethered to ensure that he can easily return. The domain outside his dungeon could enliven Dimmesdale, allowing him to be continuously “breathing the wild, free atmosphere,” that nature provides. The air’s wildness could enliven him, showing that living without the strict regulations that his heart has created frees him. However, an “unredeemed, unchristianized, lawless region,” qualities that oppose Dimmesdale’s values, possess the atmosphere, so he cannot continue breathing it. Ordering the triple negatives indicates a journey of loss for Dimmesdale; he would not receive atonement for his sins, thereby removing his Christianity and turning him into a “lawless” person. This is the journey Dimmesdale must take to free himself, but his religion makes him unable to take whatever supposedly sinful journey Hester Prynne advises him to. Carrying Puritanism as a burden keeps Dimmesdale weighed down to the point of suffocation as they cage him off from the air that supports him living.
Though Dimmesdale appears to be enlivened and unburdened after the decision, the narrator suggests that he subconsciously is growing closer to God. The passage transitions to an active tone with the clause, “His spirit rose,” but the past tense connotes a completed, discontinuous action. The word rose has mixed connotations; his spirit could have risen in enlivenment, or rose as his soul ascended to heaven. Dimmesdale may appear to feel liberated, but because the sensation is impermanent, it shows the irony that he was growing closer to a god that burdens him. Nothing about Dimmesdale’s spirit has changed, saying it rose “as it were,” reveals that it rose with the burden, which made him incapable of completing the journey. The clause mirrors the obstacles that keep Dimmesdale passive despite him appearing active. His spirit rising “with a bound,” another interrupting clause, obstructs the sensation further because he’s bound to Puritanism, preventing its progression. A “bound” creates the appearance of enlivenment as the word implies leaping, but it truly meant that he was tethered to his guilt and therefore could not escape it. Through growing closer to God, when he “attained a nearer prospect of the sky,” he still only achieved a clearer possibility of going to heaven, and his journey already concluded. Before Dimmesdale’s temporary enjoyment he had been “groveling on the earth,” doing so while misery continuously forced him to submit to God out of guilt. His guilt convinces him that he deserves to stay on the earth repenting, closer to hell rather than to heaven, and it creates the persistent boundary that remains as he continues to hold onto guilt. Temporarily escaping guilt allows him to feel that the possibility of going to heaven was still there, but because he’s growing more religious, he still has no enlivenment.
The narrator shows, through implication and explicitly passive statements, that Dimmesdale cannot escape the intensely Puritan nature of his soul. Starting the passage with “of a deeply religious temperament,” another dependent clause, reiterates that religion owns Dimmesdale. Religion is the root of his burden, similarly to how it is the root for the sentence. He has returned to the “dungeon of his heart,” in which his values force him back into submission. Religion is so intrinsic to Dimmesdale’s “temperament,” or predispositions, that it became a force too powerful to counteract or escape, so he must grow closer to God. This intensifies the depth as it implies long standing roots that cannot be weeded out. When he returns to his heart, he “inevitably” has “a tinge of the devotional in his mood,” immediately reclaiming him, and its inevitability shows that he could not escape. The sentence once again assigns ownership to religion, and he cannot minimize its power because a “tinge” is still strong enough to control him. Explicitly stating its presence deep within Dimmesdale, especially in the passage’s last sentence, reiterates that devotion keeps him binded to the town, and it consumes the sensations that inspire him to leave. He may appear to grow closer to freedom and enlivenment, but devotion overtakes to ensure that it remains his priority. When Dimmesdale makes a complete return to himself, devotion negates all temporary sensations and ends the paragraph entirely passive, showing that Dimmesdale has abandoned the decision.
Despite knowing that nature’s “wild, free atmosphere” may free him from his guilt, devotion’s agency over Dimmesdale opposes any sensation outside a Puritan framework, which leads Dimmesdale to substitute it for legitimate enlivenment. Religion becomes part of his natural “temperament,” creating the irony that manmade values do not equate to the liberation found throughout nature. Hester Prynne and Pearl embracing nature helps them achieve freedom from the burdens of Puritan law, but Dimmesdale considers all domains estranged from the law to be inherently sinful, and the seemingly perfect image of civilization keeps him trapped. Dimmesdale’s perspective on civilization intensifies the irony, for the god he supposedly worships created nature and not the judgment or strict regulations that Dimmesdale carries within him. This reveals both Dimmesdale and the townspeople’s skewed perspective that to worship God you must contrive an image of perfection and instill fear into sinners with an intimidating prison, rather than valuing the beauty of nature’s forgiving rose bush that grows outside of it. Perhaps if Dimmesdale had done so, instead of allowing his misery to convince him that he’s irredeemable, he would have allowed nature to heal him.
The Theme of Prejudice in “The Merchant of Venice”
BY AMY SMOUT
"The Merchant of Venice" is a tragedy with comedic elements by William Shakespeare. It follows a cruel Jewish moneylender named Shylock, who makes a bond regarding trade with Antonio, a Christian merchant. However, if Antonio fails to fulfil his bond, Shylock vows to take a pound of his flesh, introducing the theme of revenge early on. The play also discusses in detail the discrimination suffered by the Jewish community. For example, Shylock expresses his strong feelings of resentment towards Christians in an evocative dramatic monologue. In the climax of the play, Antonio and Shylock go to court over their bond, as Antonio can’t pay Shylock back and does not want to lose a pound of flesh. Justice and equity are deeply explored in this scene; he begs Shylock for mercy, but the court shows none when he is refused his pound of flesh. The scene ends tragically for Shylock;he loses everything. The court strips him of all possessions and forcibly converts him to Christianity, which leads the audience to feel great sympathy for the cruel and vengeful character. Shakespeare employs a variety of dramatic techniques, such as metaphors, dramatic irony, and asides, to evoke strong emotions in the audience and, by doing so, makes them consider the varied nature of prejudice.
In the start of the play, Shakespeare exposes Shylock's deep-seated grudge against Antonio, highlighting the theme of prejudice by revealing Shylock’s private, hostile thoughts. When Shylock considers lending money to Antonio, Shakespeare gives the audience insight into Antonio’s personality when Shylock exclaims "How like a fawning publican he looks! I hate him for he is a Christian." Shakespeare employs an aside to provide the audience with insight into Shylock’s vengeful nature early on. By comparing Antonio to a "fawning publican," Shylock implies that Antonio feels superior to everyone else and is insincere, reinforcing his deep distrust of Antonio and fuelling the conflict between the two. The moment provokes feelings of mistrust for Shylock and Antonio in the audience and provides insight into later events. Shylock provides the audience with reasons for agreeing to the bond between himself and Antonio. Before agreeing to the bond, Shylock speaks to the audience and says: "I will feed fat the ancient grudge I bear him. He hates our sacred nation." The audience learns that the pound of flesh agreement is his way of seeking revenge on the Christians for all their past injustices towards him. Shylock gives the audience insight into how much he detests Antonio through the use of the metaphor "feed fat." This underscores Shylock's desire to fuel his strong feelings of resentment, and the use of "ancient" suggests he has harbored these feelings for a very long time. This introduces the theme of prejudice through the characterisation of Shylock as highly vindictive towards Christians. Shakespeare’s use of dialogue conveys Shylock's compelling emotions of bitterness and rage to the audience.
In the rising action, Shakespeare explores the theme of prejudice through Shylock's dramatic monologue, which highlights the nature of his suffering at the hands of Christians. Salanio and Salarino, two of Antonio’s closest friends, taunt Shylock in the street over his desire for a pound of flesh. Shylock responds with great passion in an evocative dramatic monologue, stating, "Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is?" Shakespeare employs a series of rhetorical questions to make the reader think deeply about the suffering of the Jewish community at the hands of the Christians. The use of dialogue highlights the affinity between the Jewish and Christians, prompting the audience to reflect on their shared humanity and question the reasons behind the detrimental attitude toward the Jewish. By drawing attention to their shared commonalities, Shakespeare underscores the irrationality of prejudice and challenges the audience to recognise the destructive nature of intolerance towards others. In the same monologue, Shylock goes on to describe how Antonio has exploited him, detailing how "He hath disgraced me, and hindered me half a million; laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies; and what’s his reason? I am a Jew." The metaphor of "cooled my friends, heated mine enemies," demonstrates Antonio's strong influence by comparing it to that of the weather, therefore suggesting that Antonio can easily control and manipulate people's actions. The phrases "scorned my nation" and "mocked at my gains" further illustrate Antonio's mistreatment of the Jewish community. By providing background on Shylock’s previous suffering, Shakespeare encourages the audience to reflect on the destructive nature of permanent injustice and prejudice.
In the climax of the play, Shakespeare explores prejudice through justice and mercy in the courtroom scene. Shylock and Antonio have taken their bond to court, and Shylock is unflinching in his desire for revenge. Portia enters, disguised as Antonio's lawyer, and pleads with Shylock for mercy telling him how "The quality of mercy is not strain'd, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven." Shakespeare employs a metaphor to illustrate that Portia and the other Christians consider true mercy, like rain falling from heaven, to be a natural occurrence and to have inherent beauty. Portia’s sudden plea for mercy starkly contrasts the prejudicial attitude exhibited by Portia and many other characters throughout the play. Antonio shows signs of frustration when trying to persuade Shylock to abandon the bond and exclaims “You may as well do anything most hard, As seek to soften that - than which what’s harder?” Shakespeare uses this metaphor to emphasise Shylock’s unshakeable determination for revenge, presenting him as harder than the hardest substance. Antonio’s language reveals his own bias: he assumes Shylock is incapable of mercy because of his Jewish identity rather than the circumstances of the conflict. The quote highlights a clear double standard in the judicial system, which refuses to take Shylock’s legal claim seriously yet readily accepts Portia’s appeal for mercy. This contrast encourages the audience to reflect on the prejudicial attitudes in the scene and how individuals can be treated differently based on their social and religious identities
"The Merchant of Venice" by William Shakespeare highlights the complexities of prejudice through its characters and their treatment of one another, but it also challenges audiences to consider how the play’s key concerns appear in everyday life. Shakespeare introduces the long-standing hatred between Shylock and Antonio to highlight how assumptions can easily turn into misplaced hatred if not correctly addressed. In the rising action, Shylock's powerful monologue forces audiences to consider the consequences of mistreatment and discrimination’s lasting effects. The courtroom scene reveals how underlying bias can distort judgment, and the subsequent flaws in the judicial system. Inconsistencies in how the cases are received reflects the extent to which personal biases can undermine rational thought, and invite the audience to consider the consequences of an action. By exploring the theme of prejudice, Shakespeare not only deepens general understanding of the characters, but employs audiences to consider the role prejudice plays in society today.By examining the theme of prejudice, Shakespeare implores the audience to consider their past actions and how they may have affected others. His messages remind us to reflect on how unfair assumptions and judgements based on religion, ethnicity and personal identity continue to affect people across the globe, encouraging us to act with kindness, empathy and compassion and challenge discrimination where it faces us.
FRACTURES of the LEXICON
Continuous Works
The Key to the Lost World
BY BERNIE E. INCE
PART TWO
Aurelia
~*~
The dragon egg seemed to pulse with life, as weird as that sounded. Like a heartbeat that thumped in perfect tandem with my own.
Strange.
But even stranger—I could’ve sworn I felt the egg rock slightly of its own accord. Yet, when I glanced down at where it was being cradled in the crook of my arm, it looked as still as ever.
Ugh. Snap out of it, Aura. It’s just an egg. Focus.
Not that I had to remind myself, really. Even as I’d finally managed to focus on something other than the movie-worthy scene in front of me, all I could hear were those six words that had changed everything. The words that had come from Kayden’s mouth right after he’d shifted to his human form from the giant black wolf that was apparently his alternate form.
What are you doing here, mother?
The young, golden-haired, dark-eyed beauty, a mother? And not just a mother, but one of a grown adult? She hardly looked older than I did.
But even as I thought about it, a small voice in the back of my head finally pointed out the thing I’d been in denial of ever since I’d first seen Jay leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the chamber. They’re magic.
I knew that if I glanced at the woman in question, I’d likely find some hint of the magic that marked her as one of them. Just as I knew that if I looked close enough at Kayden and Jay, I’d probably see something in them I hadn’t seen before.
But I didn’t. Couldn’t.
Not yet.
That would make it all too real.
Glancing up, I held my breath as I finally raised my gaze from where I’d been staring blankly at an invisible speck on the floor. I’d felt Kayden’s stare burning me for several minutes now. But even as I finally worked up the courage to meet his usually dark, lifeless gaze, nothing could prepare me for what I found there.
Those normally flat depths seemed to swirl with an inexplicable essence. Magic. More than that, though, an inner light seemed to have ignited within the onyx-like colour.
It was almost as if some invisible veil had been ripped away, revealing not just the power he’d been so careful to hide away, but also the signs of actual emotions. That soul crushing fear still lay there, but now there were several other things. Hopelessness, anger, pain, concern… So many emotions, too many to decipher them all.
It was…odd, to say the least.
I was so busy staring at Kayden—specifically at his strange, weirdly expressive eyes—that I almost dropped the egg as it gave another, very real, rock.
“Umm… Guys?” I lifted my gaze from where it had immediately shot to the egg, my heart thundering at what felt like a million miles per minute. I couldn’t quite keep the panic from my voice as I met Kayden’s stare once more. “What’s going on with the egg?”
From the corner of my eye, I saw the woman’s face drain of colour as she looked at the egg. Her eyes widened, and her mouth somehow seemed to go tight and lax at the same time.
The face that had been a mask of endless boredom and irreverence since the moment she’d come into my line of sight was now pressed with—what was that? Shock? Anger? Surprise? Or something else? I couldn’t tell, but something about it—about her—had me quickly backing away.
Or had me wanting to, since it only took a single, pitiful step for me to back into the body I’d somehow completely forgotten about.
In that moment, I realised several things at once. The first was that I was not leaving this chamber unless it was as a prisoner or in a body bag. The second was that Kayden and Jay wouldn’t help me—whether it was because they genuinely couldn’t or because they wanted nothing to do with me didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that I was alone, and no help was coming for me.
The third, and perhaps most important thing of all, was that whether any of us liked it or not, the dragon egg was hatching. And, considering the murderous glare being sent my way from the young woman whom Kayden had called ‘mother’, I was betting on not.
I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I almost completely missed it as the young woman gave a pointed jerk of her chin to someone behind me.
A moment later, I felt a sharp jab and a blinding flash of pain as something solid and hard met the base of my skull. I could only blink in surprise before my vision went black and I crumpled to the ground. My last thought was to hope someone caught the dragon’s egg in time.
Then the screaming started and I knew no more.
~*~
My eyes felt impossibly heavy as they snapped open, my blurry vision making it impossible to see. Not that did anything to stop me from jolting upright.
My head was pounding like a hammer striking an anvil over and over again. I knew that if I dared to reach back, I would likely find a robin’s egg sized lump at the base of my skull from where the person who’d been behind me—a guard, no doubt—had struck.
Shit. So it hadn’t all been some weird psychedelic dream or something.
Blinking, I fought to clear my eyesight. Once it had, an entirely different battle took place—one that I lost almost immediately as my mouth dropped to the floor. I gaped at my surroundings.
“I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto,” I muttered to myself. Holy hell. The room I’d been left in was spacious and well decorated in an elaborate but minimalistic way. The floor alone must have cost a small fortune. The tiles were arranged in an alternating design using white and gold marble, which should have looked ridiculously ostentatious but somehow didn’t.
The room’s walls were made of a polished, impossibly pure white stone, with gold finishings scattered about, adding dimension to the space.
Everything seemed to have gold trimmings: the small collection of seating that had been set up to my front left; the lacing on the white curtains that had been pulled back to reveal towering windows, the canopy of the bed I lay in; the posts on the four-poster bed… Hell, even the double doors directly in front of me on the opposite side of the room had gold embedded into it.
It was everywhere. Yet, it didn’t feel gaudy.
Just as I was ready to slip out from beneath the doona, the door opened. Without so much as a knock, in slipped a young woman who couldn’t have been much older than me—though that didn’t mean very much, considering the fact that this could only be the Lost World my father had written about in his journal.
His journal.
Shit. No, no, no. No.
Risking taking my gaze off the stranger, I glanced around hastily, looking for any sign of the bag I’d been carrying the last time I’d been conscious. But…nope. No sign of the bag, my father’s notebook, or the egg—though the last one was hardly surprising.
That journal, though…
Looking back to the woman who’d just entered, I felt my shoulders square, resolve, and then settle in as I met her gaze. I needed to get that journal back, and this stranger might be able to lead me to it.
Drawing to a halt, the girl just stared, her pale blue eyes widening as they met my hazel ones. One moment passed, then two—this was about to get real awkward real quick. But then the newcomer cocked her head to the side as a big grin split her face.
“Oh, good. You’re up,” she said, striding forward until she perched herself on the end of my bed. “I was beginning to worry. Theo shouldn’t have hit you as hard as he did.” The words were sombre, but something playful lingered in her eyes—ones that gave me an odd sense of familiarity, despite the fact that I’d never seen her before in my life.
She had dark skin that practically glowed in the sunlight streaming in through the windows. Her eyes were uptilted, with gold eyeliner accentuating the curve. Her lashes had been coated with a gold-laced mascara of some kind, and matched the faint dusting of gold that highlighted the stranger’s cheekbones.
She looked stunning. But it was made even more so not because of the cosmetics or her inherent beauty, but because of her hair, which had been woven into thin, tight braids that she’d left to cascade down her back. Strands of gold were woven into each braid, and the metal caught in the sunlight.
Honestly, it looked like she belonged here, in this room of white and gold—especially with the white dress and golden jewellery and strappy golden sandals. On anyone else it all would’ve looked ridiculous, but on her it somehow worked.
“I’m Ravira. You may call me Rav or Vira—most people call me Vira, though,” she said. The warm look on her face seemed to darken, though, as she muttered something under her breath that sounded a lot like, “Not that those two imbeciles remember that. It’s always Rav, coming from them.” Just as fast as it’d first switched, Ravira’s countenance seemed to completely flip again as she extended a graceful hand towards me. “And you’re Aurelia. Not that you need an introduction—I’ve heard all about you.”
I’d been in the process of reaching out to shake her hand when her words registered. “Y-you have?” I asked, faltering.
Ravira snorted. The indelicate sound was at odds with the elaborate language she’d used so far. It was strangely welcoming. “Oh, you’ve got no idea. You’re the human girl that’s got my brothers in such a twist—to an extent that even I haven’t managed to achieve in all the years I’ve been alive. Of course I’ve heard all about you.” She shot me a conspirator’s grin. “Someday, you have to tell me how you did it. It’s honestly been a birthday present and a half to see everyone attempting to act calm as they run around like headless chooks. Bloody amazing.”
“Wait. Go back a second,” I said, reaching up to rub my brows, as if doing so could do anything to help sort out the mess of information in my mind. “Brothers?”
“Well, I say ‘brothers’ loosely, since only one of them is actually related to me. The other one might as well be related to us since we’ve all been friends since the day we were born. His Highness even has his own dedicated room in my house. And, if I’m being honest, he probably lives there more than here, in the palace. Not that I blame him for that,” Ravira said, yabbering on and on.
His Highness… Who the hell? If I was really in the Lost World like I suspected, then that meant she had to be talking about the Crown Prince—the only child of Queen Rayna, according to my father’s journal.
But that was impossible. I’d spent my entire life moving about from one place to another. There hadn’t been any chance or reason for me to have met him.
Despite that, though, Ravira was looking at me as if I should know exactly who she was talking about. “His Highness?”
Again, cocking her head to the side, the woman across from me studied me, as if I were some kind of interesting puzzle. “Huh. Jayden wasn’t kidding when he told me how little you knew—though he also said you knew more than you should. Idiot can’t seem to make up his mind.”
Jayden. “You’re not talking about Kayden and Jay, are you?”
But even as the question left my parched lips, Ravira’s familiar features finally seemed to click in place. Those eyes were almost the exact same shade as Jay’s. And though her brother had a more masculine make up of his facial structure than her, they shared the same high cheekbones, oval shaped faces and uptilted eyes.
God. They looked like spitting images, the only difference being that one was male and the other was female. How hadn’t I seen it before?
Yet, Ravira had said something else. Something that nagged at me.
His Highness.
“You can’t be serious,” I said, my mouth dropping open. “Kayden? The Crown Prince?”
Wincing slightly at the screech in my voice as I almost screamed the words, Ravira nodded slowly. “Yes. The one and only.”
But that meant the young woman Kayden had called ‘mother’ was not just a magical being of some sort, but Queen Rayna, the current ruling monarch of the Lost World.
“Holy shit,” I breathed.
A wry grin tugged at the other girl’s lips as she stared at me with an assessing gaze. “Yes. Holy shit indeed.”
I opened my mouth to ask any of the millions of questions currently swirling around in my head. But before I could, a knock sounded on the doors to the room, startling us both. Ravira looked to the double doors, a dark look passing across her face, as if she could sense something I couldn’t—which, in all honesty, she probably could. “I’ll get that. You stay here.”
She was up and across the room before I even had the chance to argue.
A moment passed. Two. Three. Then Jay’s sister was turning back to me, the lines of her gorgeous face set in determination.
Instead of coming straight back like I’d expected her to, Ravira went to one of the two doors on my right that I’d noted before but hadn’t had the chance to get up and explore. She disappeared into the one furthest from me without another word, only to reappear a minute later, a simple white dress adorned with gold like her own and gold-coloured sandals to match in hand.
“You’ve been summoned to the Council chamber. It would appear the Queen is done waiting,” she said, laying her selection out on the bed beside me. “Get changed into these quickly. There should be a brush on the bench in the bathroom,” she said, gesturing vaguely over her shoulder to the other door. “I’d suggest brushing out your hair since it looks like you’ve been asleep for more than three days.”
I jolted, taking in that new information. Three days. I’d been asleep for three days. That couldn’t be normal.
Ravira, either unaware of my inner turmoil over the bomb she’d just dropped or uncaring, merely straightened, giving me a cursory glance. “I have to check in on His Royal Highness, since I’m the only one of us the Queen hasn’t banned from seeing anyone. Jay will be by shortly to escort you to the Council chamber—though if anyone asks, you merely ran into him in the halls and asked him for directions since Her Majesty banned him from seeing you, too.”
Without waiting for me to offer any form of confirmation or thanks, Ravira strode for the doors once more. She reached for the golden door knob but paused as she gazed back at me one final time. “For whatever it’s worth, it’s been a pleasure to meet you, Aurelia Everhart.”
And with that, she opened the door and slipped from the room, leaving as silently as she’d come in.
Kayden
~*~
Three days had passed since that night Jay and I had found Aurelia in that chamber. Since Jay had handed over those ten gold marks from our bet—gold that now sat comfortably within my wallet—and since my darling mother had shown up to ruin everything, including recalling the two of us back home.
Only with a new red-headed addition in tow, too.
If I felt like being honest, it had pretty much been three days since my life had gone to absolute hell. Long days, during which I hadn’t seen or heard from Aurelia once.
Nope. That’d been one of the things Queen Rayna had done almost immediately—banned me and Jay from seeing the girl she’d unceremoniously dubbed the ‘human prisoner’.
Luckily, she hadn’t said a single godsdamn thing about Ravira seeing her. So, not only had I not bothered fighting her over the declaration, but I’d also asked Jay to hunt down his sister since I sure as hell wasn’t allowed to do it. All because my mother hadn’t stopped at just that. Indeed, her second command had been to place me under house arrest. Well…castle arrest, really—if I’d been allowed to leave my rooms, that is.
I never really did understand why children nowadays dreamed of being princes and princesses when they grow up. This wasn’t a life I’d wish on anyone—even my worst enemy.
Then again, not every prince or princess had Queen Rayna Valentino for a mother. No, I was the only one blessed enough to have that particular pleasure.
Despite considering them as the brother and sister I never had, Jay and Vira still had their own mother, Zia. And whilst neither of our fathers were alive anymore, we’d once had separate fathers, too.
Which meant the only biological member of my family still gracing this godsforsaken planet was my mother.
Yay, lucky me.
I was sitting on my couch, a favourite book of mine open in my hand as I stared blankly at the pages, lost in my own thoughts, when a knock on the doors of my chambers yanked me back into reality. “It’s open” was all I said.
A moment later, the white doors swung open to reveal the face of the girl I knew just as well as Jay, though that was hardly surprising considering the two had shared a womb.
“Your Highness,” she greeted with an overly flourished bow, the sunlight drifting in from outside my towering windows, glinting off the gold she’d had wound through her braids in her hair.
I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face even if I’d wanted to. One would think I’d be used to her antics by now, since I’d pretty much known her my whole life, but there was always some sort of amusement to be found around Ravira—be it with her or at her expense. “Hello, Rav,” I said, knowing it’d probably piss her off.
I jerked my chin for her to shut the doors she’d opened. There was no need for my mother’s guards to hear whatever it was she’d shown up to share with me. “Anything?” I finally asked once the doors had been firmly shut again.
She didn’t need clarification to know what I spoke of, thankfully. Instead, a big, wicked grin merely tugged at her lips. “She’s awake.”
The air rushed out of me in a single, heaving sigh of relief. My shoulders slumped as I felt some of the tightness that’d been coiling within me since our return home ease, if only a little bit. I didn’t even pause to consider what they’d already talked about or the meaning behind that smile as I let out a quiet, “Thank the gods.”
But then that ever-present, vibrant amusement that seemed to radiate from Vira’s eyes dimmed. There was something else.
“What is it? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Your mother…” I felt my eyes narrow as my heart began pounding. Barely concealing a wince, Vira shook her head, glancing back to the doors before facing me once more. “She’s requested your presence in the Council chamber. Yours, Jay’s and Aurelia’s.”
Crap. This can’t be good.
~*~
Even from a distance, I could tell Aurelia’s face was notably pale as Vira and I quickly made our way down the hall to meet our companions outside the Council room’s double doors. Amusingly, she kept a healthy distance from Jay—as if doing so would help protect her in any way if it came down to a fight. Not that she needed to worry about that at all since I knew Jay would’ve sooner harmed a fly than her.
Even if he’d probably argue to the contrary if anyone were to point it out. Not that Aurelia knew that quite yet.
No. It seemed as if the only one of us Aurelia was even remotely comfortable around was Rav—if the way she slumped slightly with relief at the sight of the malakhim at my side was anything to go by.
“Has the Council said anything yet?” I asked, turning to Jay.
My friend shook his head. “Not a peep.”
“I don’t know whether to be relieved by that or not, honestly.” I looked towards the chamber’s doors, knowing the exact layout of the Council table, where each Councillor sat, the small viewing area, and the stand we would be standing behind.
“I choose ‘not’. You know how those old, grumbling farts are,” Ravira mumbled.
“Careful, Rav,” Jay said softly, a cautious light in his gaze. “They may be old, but they can still hear just as well as you and I.”
Deciding that none of us really needed to have a front row seat to yet another one of their bickering battles, I cut in. “Do we know how many Councillors have graced us with their presence?”
“All.” Jay’s features were drawn, his eyes hard and slightly cold, almost like chips of ice.
All.
Gods, when was the last time they’d all been gathered in one place? It had been several years at the very least.
“Even Selene?” I asked, some small part of me hoping that this wouldn’t be as bad as it was starting to sound.
But then Jay nodded, and that hope came immediately crashing down. “Even Selene.”
“Wait. Can someone fill me in here? Who is Selene? And what’s this Council?” Aurelia asked, looking around the little huddle we’d created with those hazel eyes of hers.
Ravira snorted softly before sending me a saccharine smile. “You can take this one, Princeling.”
Jay, who’d been mostly quiet since our arrival beyond answering my questions, merely rolled his eyes at his twin’s antics as he crossed his arms over his chest. “The Council,” I said, giving Rav a pointed but playful glare before turning my attention back to Aurelia, “is the governing body who rules a step under the monarch. There are six Council members at any given time—a representative for each faction of beings we have here. The fae, faeries, shifters, malakhim, witches, and gifted humans. Currently, Domonic is the representative for the fae, Deomus for the faeries, Selene for the shifters, Enzo for the malakhim, Sybil for the witches, and Aurelius for the humans. Normally, only a few of them are in residence at the palace with the Queen. But it would seem that something about you caught their eyes.” Seeing the questions in her own gaze, I could only shrug, not having the answers she wanted. I had absolutely no idea why all of them had decided that this meeting would be worth their time—if anything, it just made me anxious. “There’s a few of them to watch out for. Mainly Domonic—he’s an absolute pain in the ass on a good day. No one can stand him.”
Vira and Jay both looked like they were going to argue, but neither of them contradicted me. Afterall, he was an ass. There was no denying it.
“And he’s the representative for the…fae, right?” Aurelia’s brows were drawn together as she looked around our group for clarification.
“Yes,” Rav said. “Deomus, the representative of the faeries—and yes, there is a difference between the fae and faeries—is also someone to watch out for. The bastard is slippery with his words. One wrong move with him and you could end up in an eternity-long contract that you didn’t even realise you’d agreed to.”
“Sybil would probably be the next one to keep an eye on,” Jay mused, staring absentmindedly at a spot over his sister’s shoulder. “She’s not someone who’ll easily offer aid. But she’s nice and honest once she does.”
“Then there’s Selene—ancient as hell, but if she takes a liking to you then she’s one of the best allies you’ll have.” Vira cocked her head in her feline way, making her seem more shifter than malakhim. “She could go either way with you.”
“Enzo will be the easiest to convince,” Jay said. “He normally sides with us on anything.”
“The fact that he’s your cousin doesn’t hurt,” I couldn’t help but mutter.
“Hey! I can recall several times where our cousin saved your sorry ass, Kayde. So, I wouldn’t be so quick to whine if I were you.” Vira narrowed her eyes as she glared pointedly at me.
“Yeah. He saved our asses. And then had all three of us doing chores for the next month—no matter who was involved.”
“Better than rotting in a cell,” she quipped.
I opened my mouth, fully prepared to snap something back, when Jay cut in, “Do you two really think bickering right now is the smartest idea? Really? Use some common sense here, please—I know you both have the capacity to do so.”
Huffing, Vira crossed her arms as she shifted that glare to her twin. “But bickering is so fun. Especially when His Royal Grumpy Pants over here makes it so easy.”
Ignoring his sister, Jay took control of the conversation once more, diverting us back to the topic at hand. “Aurelius will likely be as easy to convince as Enzo. It’s the Queen you’ll have to watch out for the most.”
“Yes. For whatever reason, Queen Rayna has decided she sincerely does not like you. And since she’s the final, deciding vote…” Ravira didn’t need to finish for us to all know what she was thinking.
“So…all of them are currently waiting for us behind that door?” Aurelia’s already paler-than-usual face drained of even more colour as I nodded. “Isn’t it rude to keep them waiting, then?”
“It’d be considered ruder to enter without being given leave to do so.”
“Not that you’re the best person to ask about being polite,” Jay grumbled. “Honestly, I don’t think anyone who didn’t already know who you are would actually be able to figure out your status without being told.”
“My brother is right; your manners are absolutely atrocious.” Ravira shook her head, her body shaking with soundless laughter.
“Thanks, guys,” I said with as much sarcasm as I could possibly inject into my tone. Placing a hand over my heart in mock sincerity, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Seriously. Thank you so much for the love, confidence and support. I can truly feel it.”
Jay simply offered a wicked, unapologetic grin in response. But his sister…
“Oh, you’re very, very welcome, Your Esteemed Royal Highness,” she said with a beaming smile as she sketched another bow.
I looked up, catching Aurelia glancing between us, her eyes assessing. It was as if she were seeing something that no one else could. And I was honestly willing to bet that she probably could.
Especially as those beautiful hazel eyes glanced up and met mine and I couldn’t quite stop the shiver that crept down my spine at the look I found there. And yet, she shifted her gaze away before I had the chance to properly decipher it.
What happened that she could barely meet my gaze for more than a scant few moments at a time? Obviously, the prince bombshell had been dropped on her somehow, so it might have been that. But could it have been because of the magic? Or something else?
I was just about to step forward to get her to look at me when the doors to the Council chamber finally swung open, revealing a stone-faced guard. “They’re ready for you now.”
~*~
The guard quickly led us into the hallway beyond, where he and another patted each of us down for weapons before allowing us through. No matter how many times we went through this, the twins never seemed to find it even remotely acceptable to part with their weapons.
At least they got the small consolation of their weapons needing two whole tables to hold them. Cause, holy gods. Whilst they were on the taller side of the scale, they weren’t exactly giants. How anyone could possibly move properly and carry that much steel on them was completely beyond my comprehension.
Hidden sheaths were sewn into Jay’s clothes—his arms, legs, chest. Anywhere, really. Then visible weapons were strapped above the hidden sheaths, too, doubling his mini armoury. The twin swords Jay usually carried were laid down with such care that anyone with eyes could tell which weapons he favoured. But everything had to be laid on the table, including the smaller daggers that’d been tucked into his boots.
Then there was Vira. At first glance, it looked like she was completely unarmed. But, despite being in a dress and strappy-looking sandals, she still had her own fair share of blades. Daggers encasing her legs and somehow hidden in her dress, unbeknownst to the discerning eye.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Aurelia gaping as she tracked each move Vira made. Especially once she started taking off her jewellery.
“The metal is a rare mineral found here—one that can be infused with magic,” I said quietly, leaning closer to Aurelia as I nodded towards Vira’s jewellery. “She had hers specially made to turn into weapons when needed—hence why she has to hand them in before being allowed in.”
Though, none of it was exactly unexpected, considering the twins’ upbringing and the life they were set to follow.
After the guards were finally satisfied we had no way to sneak any weapons in, the original guard said, his voice a flat monotone, “This way, please,” before gesturing to the open space beyond the small corridor that would eventually lead us to the area before the Council table.
Inside, the lights had dimmed, almost like we were in one of the cinemas in the human realm.
At the back of the room was a monolith of a curved high table where seven familiar faces were seated behind. And there, in the direct middle of it all, was Queen Rayna Valentino glaring imperially down her nose at the four of us as we stood before the short marble rail that served as a stand before the Councillors.
Aurelia stood to my left, the two of us taking up the centre. We were just behind where I knew a spotlight of sorts would shine, indicating the person speaking. Every Councillor had one too, the lights illuminating each of their sombre features.
Without a word, Vira and Jay flanked us, with Jay to my right and Vira to Aurelia’s left. It almost felt natural.
“Ravira Rayburn,” my mother said, her clear, ceaselessly regal voice dragging me from my thoughts. “Why is it that you’re here despite me having no recollection of you being among the people I summoned?”
“Vira,” I ground out between clenched teeth. Why the hell hadn’t I thought to check that she’d been amongst the people whom my mother had requested the presence of? I mean, it wasn’t the first time she’d pulled something like this. So, I couldn’t say I was really that surprised. But I’d hoped that she wouldn’t be dumb enough to compromise the outcome of the Council’s decision like this.
She couldn’t—not where Aurelia was involved. Vira, possibly more than anyone, had to understand why I couldn’t allow it.
Not missing a beat, though, Vira stepped forward to meet the Queen’s gaze, her head held high as she dared to meet the Queen’s gaze. “Pardon my forwardness, Majesty, but I am here to represent the Rayburn family. Ordinarily a familial representative is called for when someone is facing repercussions for any actions that they may or may not have partaken in. And, considering what Your Majesty saw fit to do since my brother and the Crown Prince returned, it would appear to me that they are in fact facing a considerable amount of trouble. Thus, as our mother has not been sent for, I am here to represent Jayden Rayburn as his next of kin.”
Despite Vira being the one who usually got us all into the most trouble, she sure knew what the hell she was doing—formal words for a formal proceeding. Though there were several faces that looked anything but pleased gazing down at us, I could’ve sworn I saw a hint of approval in my mother’s dark eyes—there and gone before I had the chance to know it had actually been real.
“Very well” was all the Queen said. And that was that.
“Miss Aurelia Everhart,” Deomus Fairchild called, clearing his throat as he stepped forward. His tall, willowy frame and bark-like skin clearly marked him as a faerie. But it was his entirely black eyes that unsettled most, the pupil so large that not a hint of white could be found. “You have been summoned here today because you were caught in the act of stealing the egg of the last remaining dragon. How do you plead?”
Aurelia’s eyes had widened slightly. But it was that fear-filled gaze as she cast a small, fleeting look in my direction that had me stepping forward and doing what was arguably one of the stupidest things I’d ever done in my entire life. Which was really saying something considering how many times I’d stood on trial with Vira and Jay by my side before this very Council.
“Your Majesty and esteemed Council Representatives,” I said, addressing the assemblage before us, “this girl is human—and a young human, at that. Can you honestly tell me that you truly believe that she knew what she was doing when she stole the egg?”
“Do you dare suggest that we’ve falsely accused the girl?” Domonic hissed down at me, his brutish features twisting with disgust as his slicked back dark hair caught the light of the chandelier high above.
“Not at all, Councillor Castellano.” I flicked my gaze around, taking in each of the six other faces staring down at me before fixing my attention back on Domonic. “I am merely asking whether you have truly considered whether Miss Everhart knew what she was doing the night she stole the egg? I believe we’re all aware that she was caught red-handed by none other than Jayden Rayburn and myself. But are you certain that stealing the egg was her own intent or was she simply just a pawn in somebody else’s twisted game?”
“You raise a valid point, Prince,” Aurelius said, his deep voice echoing in the hall-like space. “However, upon inspection of the belongings Miss Everhart had in her possession at the time of being apprehended, it was revealed that she had a journal in which there were detailed instructions on where to find the egg and how to get to it. Thus, proving the intent behind the theft of the egg was in fact her own.”
Barely resisting the urge to rub the space between my brows, I couldn’t help but shoot an annoyed look in Aurelia’s direction. Gods, she’s certainly not making this easy. A journal for crying out loud. She’d been carrying a journal with information about the egg. That was almost as incriminating as being caught with the egg in her possession. Well…there went that plan.
“If I may, Councillors.” Vira stepped forward, taking the spotlight again, her chin raised, shoulders squared—exactly as it had been every other ‘meeting’ before this. “Why is it that we are having this trial at all then? You’ve clearly proven Miss Everhart’s intent towards stealing the egg in whatever means you have deemed appropriate. And we have several eyewitnesses in this room alone that can attest to her stealing the egg. So, that begs the question, why are we here when you’ve already determined her guilt? And why bring Jayden Rayburn and the Crown Prince into this, too?”
The Councillors glanced at each other, murmuring softly. But it was the Queen who smiled, the sight lacking any trace of humour and warmth.
“An astute observation, Miss Rayburn,” mother drawled. Her dark eyes went right to Aurelia, not Vira, despite it being the female malakhim who had spoken. For a moment, the Queen gazed down at Aurelia and the girl stared right back. Despite not having said anything so far, despite being so outmatched in this room that it was hardly funny, she didn’t back down one inch under my mother’s scrutinising stare. “You’re right. We’re not here to determine the human prisoner’s guilt.”
“So, what are we here for then?” Jay asked when the Queen did not continue.
Rayna lifted her dark gaze to meet mine. But then she shifted that piercing glare back to the silent, red head at my side. “The dragon egg has hatched, and the hatchling has chosen this…girl as its bonded rider.”
The Queen was cold and imperious as she stared down at us. It was the face I’d grown to expect in the one and a half decades since I’d really had a childhood. But her words… What she’d claimed…
I sensed Jay stiffening. His back straightened as his body locked.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vira reach for the comfort of weapons that weren’t there. Saw her step back from the barrier as she flexed her hands and shifted from foot to foot. She’d always been jumpy without her weapons. But seeing her now… I was suddenly very, very glad that we were forced to stand behind the rail and were nowhere near close enough for the female malakhim to do any of the number of things that were undoubtedly running through her head.
Even the six Councillor members glanced at each other, murmuring. They hadn’t known. Every single person in the room showed varying degrees of surprise, outrage or downright terror.
All, except for two, that is.
My mother didn’t look surprised in the slightest—though that was hardly unexpected considering it had been she who had imparted the news.
But Aurelia…
The young woman at my side didn’t flinch or back down as she met the Queen’s stare and held it. As she did what most people wouldn’t even dare dream of in their entire lives.
Then my mother smiled—just a small tilt of her lips, but it was enough to send a cold shiver down my spine.
“The way that I see it,” Queen Rayna called out, silencing the relentless murmuring of the Council members, “Miss Everhart has two options. She can either face the three stages of the Trial. Or she can face imprisonment until the dragonling has reached the age of maturity and shall then be put to death by fire for her crimes.”
My mother’s features were as cold and heartless as I’d ever seen them. This wasn’t the face of the caring mother I’d once known long ago, nor was it the face of a nurturing ruler who was doing what she thought was best for her kingdom. No, this was the face of an immortal ruler who was taking advantage of a rare opportunity to make someone’s life a living hell.
Someone she knew meant something—not only to her son, but also to the son of one of her closest friends, and perhaps even to the daughter she’d once seen as her own.
“The Trials are as good as a death sentence to someone of full magical blood with little to no training. Only the best survive,” Jay snapped, as if he’d forgotten who he was addressing entirely. “A human of no magical abilities…”
I glanced at Vira, who’d gone completely silent, her dark features paling. She’d seen the Trials—had trained for them at one point. They were mainly used as a test for the malakhim to enter the elite guard. Most didn’t even attempt to undertake them because of how dangerous they were.
For Aurelia to be forced to complete all three phases…
“There has to be another way—a third option,” I said, refusing to back down even as my mother turned the full force of her flat, emotionless gaze on me. “The Trials aren’t designed for humans to attempt. Do you really wish to see the hatchling die because of your pride?”
Though her stare hardened to the point where I knew there would be hell to pay for that comment later, the Queen merely waved a dismissive hand. “The Trials will be adjusted to accommodate for the mortal’s lack of…gifts,” she replied, scanning Aurelia from head to toe with a look of such disgust and judgement that I was almost tempted to reach for her, to shield her from the disdain. “The Trials will be made so that no harm shall come to the hatchling should the human prisoner decide to undertake them.”
Opening my mouth once again, I was fully ready to continue arguing for there to be another way when a different voice beat me to it. One that had remained silent the entirety of these damned proceedings thus far.
“I will undertake your Trials, Your Majesty,” Aurelia said, stepping up and into the spotlight. “But only under a few conditions.”
“You are not in any place to be making demands, mortal,” Rayna said, sitting back in her seat like the uncaring, immortal ruler she was.
Yet, despite the hard stare being directed down upon her, despite the Councillors who appeared more than ready to see her blood shed, Aurelia didn’t back down. Not one inch. Not even when Vira reached out to clasp her on the shoulder, softly murmuring her name in warning.
For a second, I could’ve sworn a hint of surprise and approval glinted in the Queen’s eyes. But it was there and gone within the blink of an eye. “Very well. Make your requests.”
“Firstly, the Trials need to be spaced out. You said there were three phases, I request for there to be at least one week between each phase—it is up to your discretion as to whether there is more time than that or not. Secondly, I’ll need the ability to train for each Trial. I will need the space, the equipment and the wardrobe to do so. And finally, at the end of the first stage, should I successfully complete it and survive, I want all of my belongings to be returned to me—including my father’s journal.” Aurelia’s face was cold, devoid of emotion as she outlined each of her demands. But even from the awkward side angle I was on, I could see the hint of desperation that I knew she was desperately trying to hide. “If you agree to those three requests and swear to make it achievable to a non-magic gifted human such as myself, then I will complete your Trials, if that is what you so wish.”
My mother, looking for all the world like a spider with a fly caught in her web exactly where she’d wanted it, merely smiled. “Deal.”
Aurelia
~*~
Everyone was silent as we made our way from the Council chamber. My companions had looked about ready to continue arguing with the Queen, but all it had taken was me turning to walk away, not even pausing for permission to do so, for them to shut up.
Ravira and Jay had paused at the door, gathering the many, many weapons they’d been forced to leave behind. But Kayden had stuck close to me; always a pace behind at least, but close enough that I could feel the warmth emanating from him.
I knew the silence wasn’t to last once we got to wherever it was Jay was leading us. That the second we couldn’t be overheard, the many objections I could practically feel brewing in the three people walking at my side would be released in a tidal wave.
But, for now, I simply focused on putting one foot in front of the other, just as I always had.
All too soon, we reached whatever destination Jay had selected for us. Slipping into the room, he held open the door for me to enter, Kayden quickly following behind with Ravira bringing up the rear.
I had all of a few heartbeats to take in the room we’d entered—an open space that looked to be a sitting room of some sort. Like most of the palace, white and gold marble tiles made up a design on the floor, with pure white stone and gold trimmings making up the walls.
Several white couches with gold trimmings of their own were positioned tastefully around a white marble hearth. And like in my own rooms, towering windows filtered in copious amounts of sunlight, warming up the space and giving it an open, more welcoming feel.
But unlike my rooms where the windows made up the main feature of the back wall, in the spaces between the glass offering a view of the outside world, bookshelves had been set up. Each and every shelf was filled with books of almost every kind.
The sight took my breath away and I couldn’t help but wonder if this palace would have one or multiple libraries like in the books I’d read. I was sorely tempted to ask, but when I turned around to look back at my companions to do exactly that, they were all glaring at me, their eyes practically shouting the words that none of them had dared voice. Yet.
Heaving out a sigh, I muttered, “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”
Not waiting for any responses, I trudged over to sit on the couch directly opposite the hearth, not bothering to even attempt to make my movements elegant and smooth in any way shape or form.
Let them think what they wanted.
Even on the walk over here, I’d felt as if each movement was an effort. My head was starting to feel heavy, and it was all I could do to not lean back and rest it on the couch’s frilly top.
I may have slept for three days straight, but it was becoming painfully obvious that I’d been unconscious for most of it and not actually getting any proper rest.
The other three slowly made their way over to me, finding their own seating arrangements. There were more than enough seats that none of us needed to double up, yet Jay and Ravira claimed opposite ends of the same couch, seated to my left. Kayden, moving to my right, claimed one of the armchairs, stretching out his long legs before him.
“Well?” I said, gesturing impatiently for them to get on with it. I probably looked more like a demeaning royal than the actual royal in the room. But, in that moment, I really didn’t give a shit.
“Do we even need to say anything?” Ravira sat forward and rested her elbows on her knees as she clasped her hands together. “You can’t do this, Aurelia. If what the Queen said about the dragon egg is true then not only you will die, but you’ll take that hatchling with you, too. Is that really what you want?”
“And if I told you I’ve already had comprehensive training?” I shot back, my temper getting the better of me in my tired state.
“Then I’d call you an idiot. These Trials are lethal. Even the most trained and talented malakhim struggle to complete them.” Despite having just sat down, Ravira jumped to her feet, starting to pace like a caged animal. “You do these Trials, and you will die.”
“Despite what the events of the past six and a half weeks might suggest, I’m not an idiot. I know my limits.”
“That’s not what we’re saying—or at least not what I’m saying,” Jay argued. I didn’t miss the way he quickly corrected himself after he saw the piercing glare his sister sent his way.
God. If I hadn’t already been told before, I would’ve been convinced they were more like twins than just siblings, seeing them in a room together now. They were pretty much spitting images—one merely just had more feminine features, and the other more masculine ones.
“You were just unconscious for the better part of three days,” Ravira cut in before Jay could continue whatever he’d been about to say. Her brother just winced. “Are you really that eager to be knocked out again? Or worse, die?”
“Ravira, don’t get me wrong, I like you. You seem like a great person and someone I’d actually like to have as my friend. But no one—absolutely no one—gets to tell me what to do. I’m a grown woman and can make decisions for myself, just as I have been doing for years now. Not even my father would’ve dared to stage the intervention that you’re currently attempting to right now, and he lived for decades longer than I’m betting you have. So,” I said, blowing out a harsh breath as I attempted to breathe through the pain I still felt anytime I thought of my father, “I’d suggest you sit back down, quit your snarling and shut the hell up before I show you what happens to people who try to tell me what to do.”
Ravira was staring at me, her brows high, but her mouth had finally actually snapped shut.
“Will that be all?” I looked at each of them in turn, meeting their eyes and staring them down until they each finally shook their heads. “Well, now that’s finally been settled, could one of you please escort me back to the room I awoke in or whichever room I’m assuming will be mine for the length of the Trials so that I can get some sleep?”
“I will. They’re close to here anyway,” Kayden said, speaking up for the first time.
Swallowing, I almost wished Ravira had continued arguing. But there was no way that I was letting any of them see my discomfort.
So instead, I simply rose from where I’d been perched on the couch I’d selected before following the prince to the door that he held open for me.
Prince. The word clanged through me as I stared side-long at him.
There was no getting used to it. He didn’t seem like a prince, especially not a Crown Prince. But appearances could be deceiving—I knew that better than most.
Still, though. Why had he been at Oxford? How had he slipped under the radar there? Had the Queen sanctioned it, or had he gone of his own volition, damning the consequences?
The questions sprang up, one after another, practically chasing each other around my head until I was near bursting with them.
When we’d walked far enough down the hall that Kayden deemed it safe enough to talk without Jay or Ravira overhearing—or so I was guessing—he turned to me. Once again, I was struck silent as I met what used to normally be those dead, dark eyes, only to see endless emotions swirling there.
It was…odd. And yet, somehow, utterly entrancing at the same time.
“I’m sorry about Vira,” he said, softly enough so that only I could hear him, even with immortal ears around. “She tends to get…passionate about things. Especially when those things involve the people she cares about.”
“I’ve only known her for a couple of hours,” I deadpanned.
“She’s been watching you sleep for the better part of the past three days. I think you’d be surprised how much of an attachment you form when doing that—even if the person is a complete stranger.”
Scrunching my brows together, I gave him a sidelong look that spoke volumes in itself, even as I said, “That’s just creepy.”
Wincing, he shot me an apologetic glance. “Yeah, I can see how that would creep you—or anyone else—out. The fault lies with me though. My mother forbade Jay and I from seeing you, to the point where I was pretty much under house arrest in my rooms. She said nothing about Vira, though, so I got Jay to ask her to watch over you while you were out.” He shook his head, staring unseeingly at something ahead of us. “I don’t think any of us were expecting you to be out for as long as you were.”
“Why would she do something like that?” I couldn’t have stopped the question even if I tried. No parent should have even thought of doing that—especially if their child was an adult who’s fully capable of making decisions, even if they were dumb ones.
I couldn’t imagine being locked up indoors against my will. Ever since I was a child, I’d always longed for the forest, to feel the dirt and grass beneath my feet and spend days on end running wild under the sun until my father called me home.
Kayden merely shrugged, though, as he led me around a corner. “Who knows? I think you’ll find that Queen Rayna tends to do what she wants, when she wants.”
“Has she done it before?” God, I really should just shut up and stop asking questions. And yet, something about the way the prince’s shoulders slumped as he turned his face to look out the window had me toeing that dangerous line of not caring what I should and shouldn’t do.
“Yes. But only when I’ve done something to deserve it.”
“Did you do something to deserve it this time?”
Finally glancing up at me again, his dark gaze seemed…troubled, if slightly perplexed. “Considering the fact that I went against her direct orders and went to the human realm on a rotation to guard the egg, I’m going to say yes.”
“Why?” The question was out before I could do anything to stop it. I couldn’t quite stop my cringe, though, as I saw his eyes darken.
“Because, since we were young, Jay and Vira were destined to guard either the egg, our borders or the important people and places of our society. And I was destined to be some pampered prince in a palace, hiding behind the very people I grew up with.” He looked out the windows as we turned yet another corner, staring endlessly out at the picturesque views the palace had to offer. “Because I thought that if I only got the chance to visit the human realm once in my life, then I might as well do it with one of my closest friends and actually do something with my time there.”
My heart strained at the bleak bitterness I could see on his face, even though he wasn’t looking at me.
I knew what that hopelessness felt like, to have that longing for a different life. It was something that I’d been feeling for years—even before I’d been left on my own. Something that had always had me looking to the next horizon, wondering what else was out there, waiting for me.
I’d never felt at home amongst other people—humans, specifically. No matter where I went.
Oxford had offered me a glimpse of the life I could’ve had. But even that hadn’t worked out. “Well, for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry my plan to steal the dragon egg cut your little foray into the human realm short.”
Letting out a bark of a laugh—the sound pure and genuine—he shook his head in amusement. “I’m sorry Jay and I were duty bound to stop you.”
I couldn’t help but offer him a grin of my own.
Instead of smiling or laughing again, he seemed to sober, his expression darkening once more as he clasped me gently on my elbow, drawing me to a halt with him. “Why’d you do it?”
“Why did I do what?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
I’d known the question would be asked eventually, but I wasn’t quite ready for this little slice of happiness and…and peace to be over. Not yet.
Because, no matter how anyone tried to convince me otherwise, I knew they wouldn’t look at me the same once I answered that particular question.
Shooting me a look that said he saw right through me, he rephrased the question. “Why did you steal the egg?”
Blowing out a breath, I gazed out the window directly beside us, attempting to buy myself time while I looked for a way out.
“Aurelia?”
I felt the light touch of his fingertips on my elbow one more. And I knew that if I looked, I’d find that look of sombre, cautious openness. That I would find a steady source of support that I hadn’t earned, but had been gifted with regardless.
“My father used to call me ‘Aura’,” I said instead, staring blankly out into the gardens beyond. “He always said that I had an…aura about me. I used to think he just couldn’t be bothered saying the extra syllables. But now…now I don’t know what to think.”
Turning back to him, I finally managed to meet Kayden’s gaze. “I stole the dragon egg because five months ago, my father died. He was the last thing keeping me here. I’d been making plans to escape this plane of existence for years. But it was my father’s death that set them all into action. I wanted the egg for purely selfish purposes—to finally get me away from this hellscape of an existence.”
Kayden didn’t say anything, but I could feel his gaze burning into me, even as I turned to look out the window again. Neither of us spoke for a long moment.
Then—
“Uh, Kayden?” I asked, glancing around the space that we'd just stopped in. “Yeah?”
“Did you literally just lead me in one giant circle?” I’d been keeping track of the turns we’d made—several lefts and no rights—but did he really have to make it as obvious as stopping us just before the doors we’d just exited? Like, seriously?
“Why would you say that?” But even as he asked that all too innocent question, I could see the small, barely noticeable wince he tried to hide.
“Because those are the doors we walked out of a few minutes ago, that’s why,” I said, gesturing to the gold detailed doors nearby.
I could almost hear him saying “shit”, even though his mouth made no perceptible movement.
Yeah. Shit indeed. Who do you think I am? Some air-brained ninny?
“Would you believe me if I said I just wanted to have the chance to talk to you?”
I raised a brow, not willing to let him off the hook that easily. “You’ve had the chance to do so for at least forty-five minutes at this point.”
“Not alone. Jay and Vira were with us until now. This is the first chance I’ve had to talk to you alone—literally since I met you, I think.”
I paused, thinking back.
Damn. He was right.
It had been six weeks since I’d practically collided with him. Six weeks since I’d first met him and Jay. And yet, not only did it feel like I’d known him for far longer than that, but it also felt like I knew him on a deeper, more personal level—despite only having talked with him briefly.
Which was… God, I didn’t even have the words to describe how weird that was.
More than that, though—it both sounded and felt completely and utterly ridiculous. But…I couldn’t deny it.
As if reading all that and more on my face, he merely nodded his head and said, “I know.”
The two words didn’t feel adequate enough to truly convey everything that’d just shot through my head. Yet, considering the topic, they also spoke volumes, too.
“God. This is a mess,” I mumbled, reaching up to massage my temples.
He offered me a small grin, his face seeming to light up with the movement. “A good or a bad mess?”
Crap. I must’ve been out of my mind exhausted if I thought a small grin lit up his whole face. Especially if that small grin made my heart stutter a beat the way that it did.
I really needed to get out of here. “I don’t know. Just…a mess.” I shook my head, looking around at the familiar, yet completely foreign doors around us. “Look, I need to get some sleep before I drop dead on my feet. So, I’m really hoping you weren’t lying earlier when you said my room was nearby because I seriously need to lie down.”
Chuckling, his dark, depthless eyes lit up. “Yeah, they’re literally just down the hall from mine,” he said, gesturing back the way we’d come to the double doors closest to us.
I almost slumped in relief, but then his words properly comprehended in my brain. “Wait. Those were your rooms?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Those were all your books?” I asked, my eyes growing wide as I recalled the towering shelves that’d made my heart ache with a longing I hadn’t felt for years.
“Well, not all my books. The ones in the sitting room are just my favourite cause they’re easier to get to.” He shrugged. “The rest are in one of the rooms attached. And that’s just my own personal collection here—you should see the real palace library.”
My mouth dropped open slightly as I gaped at him. But in that moment, I didn’t care one little bit. “You have to let me read them—or at least look at them,” I said, not above begging. Not for books. Then, seeing the raised brow and the amusement dancing in his gaze, I hastily added a quick “please”.
“I thought you were—what were your words? About to drop dead on your feet?”
Waving an errant hand in dismissal, I shook my head. “If this were anything other than books, then sleep would take priority. But books are books,” I said simply, as if that were an answer in itself.
Letting out a soft laugh, his lips tugged up into a smile, revealing the straight, white line of his teeth. “The books can wait. Go, get some sleep. You’ll be training tomorrow with Vira, anyway.”
Training with Ravira? When did anyone say anything about that?
But when I opened my mouth to argue—or at least ask about what this training would entail—my body chose that exact moment to need to yawn. My jaw cracked open wide, cutting off my words before I’d even had the chance to start giving life to them.
Why was I so tired all of a sudden?
But that didn’t matter, not as I could practically hear the ridiculously comfortable bed I’d awoken in calling my name.
Swaying slightly on my feet, I didn’t object as the prince reached out and gently nudged me in the direction of my rooms.
“Sleep well,” he murmured. “I’ll see you soon.”
And yet, even as those words echoed in my ears, I had the sinking feeling that wouldn’t be the case.
All thoughts of princes and trials fled my mind, though, as I opened my door and quickly made my way to my giant bed. I was asleep before my head even hit the mattress; not even bothering with the strappy golden sandals on my feet before oblivion swept me away.
~*~
There was someone poking me.
Relentlessly.
“Ugh, go away,” I mumbled, rolling over and burying my face in one of my many pillows.
God, this bed was ridiculously comfy. I loved it.
“Come on! Up you get,” a cheerful voice chirped. “Training time.”
Letting out a low, loud groan, I knocked away the hand as it moved to poke me again. “Ravira,” I whined, drawing out each syllable, the sound hideous to my own ears—and I was the one with mortal hearing.
“Yes, that would be my name—though you could at least call me Vira, you know.” She poked me again, this in the side, just beneath where my ribs ended. “Come on, Aurelia. I know Kayde gave you a heads up about the training. Let’s go. We’re burning daylight here.” Letting out a long string of curses that would’ve had my father blushing to hear, I finally sat up, immediately levelling a vicious glare on the woman before me. “You’re now my least favourite person; you know that right?”
She shrugged. “If that’s what it takes to ensure that you survive these godsforsaken Trials, then so be it. Now, up you get.”
Not giving me a chance to pull away or argue, Ravira reached out and clasped my hands before yanking me to my feet. Then, not even waiting to make sure that I actually found my balance, she started steering me towards my bathing room, where she paused me on the threshold.
Turning in place, she snatched a pile of fabric that I assumed were clothes before promptly pushing them into my hands and shoving me through the door to the bathroom and slamming the door in my face.
Damn, that woman was a hellion.
Muttering another list of expletives, I decided that Ravira and her intentions—be they good or bad—could go right to hell and dropped the neat pile of clothing on my bench before jumping into the shower.
When I emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, Ravira merely rolled her eyes at the glare that I sent her and unfurled from where she’d been curled up on one of the armchairs in the little seating area. “Put these on and let’s go,” she said, chucking me a pair of black combat boots that matched the black leggings and loose but form-fitting singlet top.
And with that, she strode for the doors to my rooms, opened them, and sauntered into the hallway beyond.
Knowing grumbling and groaning wouldn’t do a single damn thing to allow me to go back to bed, I silently slipped on the shoes, already planning out how I’d make Ravira pay for it.
Out in the hall, I found the woman in question leaning against the wall, using a wicked looking dagger to clean the undersides of her nails. Her bright blue eyes flicked to me as I shut the door behind me.
I could tell she was already watching, assessing me, weighing each of my movements to determine the strength and agility my limbs held, as if that could tell her what to expect regarding my level of training. I highly doubted she was anywhere near close to the truth as she jerked her chin before wordlessly walking away again. If she was, she wouldn’t have shown her back to me like that; wouldn’t have revealed the weapons she had. Either that, or she just didn’t think I’d consider being a threat to her.
Oh, how wrong she was. Not that she realised that. Yet.
Leading me through the halls, she didn’t look back at me once until we reached what I was assuming a training space of sorts. The room was cavernous, looking like a white stone and sand covered version of a high school gymnasium in the human world.
The ceiling of the space was made of the same white stone as the walls were—as well as essentially the entire rest of the palace. But it wasn’t flat, instead it had been carved into two arches that met in the centre of the space. And throughout the line of the centre, pillars stretched from the ceiling to the floor, splitting up the ginormous area.
Sand covered the entirety of the floor, making it feel like I’d just stepped into one of the gladiator arenas the Romans were famous for.
All in all, it looked and felt like more of a stadium or an arena of some kind as opposed to a training room. Especially with the towering stone seating that looked like it’d been carved into the wall to my right.
Ravira didn’t bother looking around as she strode through the space, looking for all the world as if this was her domain, like she’d been here hundreds upon hundreds of times—which, she probably had.
Grabbing a beautifully crafted pair of hunting knives from the rack of weapons she’d made a beeline for, she turned back to me before chucking them both at me. I didn’t even have to track them as they made a crescent-shaped arc through the air before catching them. It felt like muscle memory, moving my body in the way I needed to be able to catch them effortlessly, despite having never been in this room, catching these weapons with Ravira before.
The woman merely raised a brow before drawing two daggers of her own—though I caught the small flash of appreciation and respect in her pale eyes that she’d undoubtedly tried to hide.
“The Council has decided that you will have one week between each Trial. So everyday at dawn, we will be here. I’ll fetch you from your rooms, so you’d better be ready—no repeats of this morning’s performance, or I’ll make you regret it.” She shot me a wicked grin, telling me she wasn’t bluffing. Not that I’d had even a seedling of doubt over her intentions.
“Your first Trial is in seven days, which means that we’ll have six days of training,” she continued, tossing her braided hair over her shoulder so that it cascaded down her back. “The first Trial will be an obstacle course—might sound simple but trust me: it’s not.
“Your first Trial will also be completely closed to the public. Only the Council members, the Queen and one person of your choosing will be present. No one else.” Despite her words, the look on her face told me that would not be the case, regardless of the rules. Even if I didn’t ask any of them, she and her brothers would be there, like it or not.
“I’ll go into more detail about the second and third Trials as they come up. But what you need to know for now is that the second one—like the first one—is always the same. You’ll be shoved into one of the caves in the surrounding basin and will be told to find your way out.” I stared at her, perplexed. But she merely shrugged. Guess it’s on a need-to-know basis for now. “The third one, though, will be the deadliest. Not only because the Council will likely be pissing themselves if you make it that far, but unlike the first two Trials, it changes and it’s at the Council’s discretion to decide what the Trial will be.”
Well, shit.
“They’re going to make my life a living hell using that Trial, won’t they?” I asked, unable to keep the shakiness from my voice.
“Oh, they’ll find a way to make your life a living hell with all of the Trials whilst still keeping it ‘human friendly’,” she replied. “It’s my job and personal mission to ensure that you’re able to walk into that hell and come back out relatively unscathed. Which means training.”
As if that wasn’t obvious already. But I didn’t say that aloud.
“Every day we’ll start off with a sparring match, then you’ll be tasked with preparation for whatever Trial it is that week.” She grinned, and while the sight wasn’t ugly by any means, the vicious slash of teeth had my heart pounding. “Which, for this week, means obstacle courses. Two each day of increasing difficulty.”
Not unexpected. But…annoying.
Bet she wouldn’t be saying that if she knew what I can do.
“So, sparring then?” I bounced on the balls of my feet, flipping the blades in my hands as I tested their weight and balance. Perfect.
Grinning, Jay’s sister looked as excited as I felt—though I hid the elation running through me. She didn’t say anything as she launched towards me, her daggers raised and ready to go.
I’m going to take that as a ‘yes’, then.
With a smile of my own, I met and blocked each of the blows and attacks she threw my way. Block, block, parry, block, dodge.
It was like a dance—one that I was more familiar with than Ravira was prepared for.
I could tell she was surprised I was managing to keep up, to meet her blow for blow—especially since I knew she wasn’t pulling her punches. But that was what I was aiming for.
There was no way I could last against her for a long amount of time. Her immortality would win out after an extended period compared to my weaker mortal self. But I was stronger than the average human. And even though I’d slacked off a lot since starting at Oxford. My lithe and curvy body-shape hid it well, though—which was beneficial when making opponents underestimate me.
Just as Ravira was doing.
Surging forward, I went for her exposed left side, taking her by surprise. She leapt back, but not enough before my blade skimmed her. Not deep enough to have cut skin, but enough to rip the fabric of her shirt.
Not giving her the chance to quite realise what’d happened, I launched into a relentless assault, leaving her scrambling onto the defensive.
I couldn’t keep the grin off my face, even as I saw her eyes narrow. She knew. She knew I’d been playing with her.
She hadn’t seen it coming—how good I was despite the lack of training recently. Just as she didn’t see my leg as I swept out, hooking my foot around her ankle and yanking her leg out from beneath her.
Ravira hit the ground with an oomph, but I was upon her before she’d even had the chance to get the air back into her lungs.
Holding a dagger to her throat and above her heart, I offered the young woman a feral grin full of chaotic delight.
God. I’d missed this.
I’d always loved fighting growing up. My father had set up obstacle courses that’d undoubtedly similar to the ones Ravira was about to torture me with. But sparring was just…there was something about the brutal dance that was like nothing else.
“How…the hell…?” she asked, panting. Her words trailed off as her mouth dropped open; her eyes widened to the size of saucers as she gaped up at me.
Cocking my head to the side, I raised an eyebrow. “I told you I had training, and you doubted me anyway. While I appreciate you not pulling your punches, you were too busy attempting not to hurt me than focusing on the actual fight.” Getting up, I shifted so that I held both daggers in one hand before offering my free one to help her up. “Not my fault you didn’t listen.”
Blowing out a breath, it was clear she realised I was right when her cheeks flushed, and she diverted her eyes for a moment before looking back. “You’re very strong. For a moment there, I could almost believe you had immortal blood in your veins.”
If only. “I’ve always been that way,” I said, shrugging it off. “Completely human, though.”
Ravira didn’t look so sure. But instead of pursuing the subject, she merely held out her hands for my daggers.
I glanced at them before reluctantly handing them back over. “They’re beautifully made. I wish I had a pair.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think Her Majesty would take too kindly to you having weapons—at least before the conclusion of the Trials. Afterwards, though…”
“I thought you were doubtful I’d be able to survive?” I asked, shooting her a sidelong look.
“I said it was dangerous, not that you wouldn’t survive,” she retorted.
There was no way I was letting her off easy. Not after the fuss she kicked up yesterday. “Really? Cause I specifically remember you saying something along the lines of ‘you do these Trials, and you will die’. So…”
Grimacing, she gave me an apologetic look. “Okay, so…maybe I was a bit rash in saying that. But…can you blame me?”
Sighing, I had a feeling that was the closest I’d get to an apology. I’d take what I could get.
Ravira didn’t say anything else as she led me to an archway built into one of the walls.
Inside lay an obstacle course, the likes of which I’d never seen before. Which was good—sort of—since I’d mastered all of the ones my father had set up. At least this would challenge me.
“Well?” She raised a brow before making a shooing motion. “Off you go. Let’s see what you can do, Aurelia Everhart.”
~*~
A week passed with no further summons. I sparred with Ravira daily (though she begrudgingly lifted it to two daily matches instead of just once) before completing obstacle course after obstacle course, slowly dusting off the skills I’d left in disrepair over the past few months.
Despite what Kayden had said, I didn’t see him once in the days Ravira and I trained. He’d all but disappeared. I glimpsed Jay in the halls every now and then, but Kayden… I didn’t dare ask Vira, who’d become my only companion. Though I’d sometimes catch her looking at me in a way that felt a lot like she knew something I didn’t.
And so, the days slowly disappeared in what was becoming a normal routine of preparing for the ever-looming trials.
On the seventh day, however, it wasn’t Vira I found knocking at my door. If only it was.
Instead, I found the scowling face of Theo—Queen Rayna’s hulk of a personal guard who’d gifted me with the blow that had rendered me unconscious. And not just unconscious, but unconscious for three whole days straight.
It was an effort not to scowl at him as he gestured down the hall and said, “This way,” before stalking off.
I’d known today was the day of the Trial—Vira had sought me out the previous night after she’d inspected the course for any tampering. She’d looked grim; and while she couldn’t share any details about what to expect, she had told me that it would be difficult but doable.
And despite what had happened over my first two days being conscious here, I knew I could trust her judgement. She didn’t want to see me dead. And honestly, a small part of me was starting to recognise her as the friend I’d never had the chance to have—especially after that first day of training where I’d put her on her ass (something many would’ve taken as a direct hit to their ego) and she hadn’t looked at me any differently for it.
But as Theo led me in the direction of the training spaces Vira and I had been using, I felt the old doubt creeping in again.
God. What was I doing? Why the hell had I agreed to risk my life like this? And not just my life, but also the life of the hatchling with questionable decision-making skills?
I could’ve just chosen to have my execution date scheduled for when the dragon reached adolescence and used those years to find a way out. And, given the way Kayden, Vira and Jay had all reacted to the news of the Trials, I didn’t doubt for a moment that they would’ve helped me find a way out. But to do this instead?
Enough, Aura.
There was no point thinking like this. What was done was done. Doubt would only be a distraction at this point—and a deadly one at that.
I could do this. I was an Everhart after all.
My father had raised me alone in the wake of my mother’s death; he’d never given up, even when he’d been on his deathbed. The least I could do was not give up either.
However, that resolve lived a very, very short life as I rounded a corner and froze.
Because there, laid out before me like some giant beast, was an obstacle course I wouldn’t have even dreamed of, even in my worst nightmares.
Glancing around the space Theo deposited me in before quickly disappearing once more, I took note of the built-in stone viewing stands that’d always been empty whilst Vira and I had trained. Now, though, all six Council members and the Queen had gathered in the centre where what looked to be a viewing box was carved out, giving the group an unobstructed view of the course while they lounged around.
Vira stood a healthy distance away from the assembled group, her hands tucked behind her back and her chin raised. She looked as beautiful as ever in white pants and a white vest-like top. She had a quiet grace that I couldn’t help but be a little bit envious of.
But more than that, I wished I could just talk to her. Especially as I gazed out at the course again.
It looked to be made up of six different obstacles.
The first, and perhaps the easiest looking, was a pit of mud with thorns covering the top. There looked to be enough space for my body to lie flat to the floor with a bit of breathing space above that, but it would definitely be a challenge.
The next obstacle looked to be a rope dangling from the ceiling, the surface almost looking like it was glinting in the sunlight that was streaming in through the open arches on the other end of the hall. Not too hard, either. But the true difficulty lay in the towering height of it. The roof of the training space was cavernous and had to be at least fifty feet high. I had very little doubt that I would be forced to scale the entire thing—especially as I caught the faint glint of gold up where the rope met the roof. Must be a bell of some kind.
The third hurdle was a wall of bricks—or at least, that’s what it looked like. Not that I wished for my task to be any harder, but the short wall looked almost…harmless in the face of the other objects.
Especially in comparison to the next obstacle where a beam lay with five sandbags moving overhead. Which then led into the penultimate stretch of the course where a line of vertical logs with arms jutting out of them lay. There looked to be about ten in total, with just under enough space separating each of them for my body to squeeze through.
But it was the final obstacle that looked to be the deadliest. The slightly raised platform the spinning logs stood on linked to a ledge before a big set of monkey bars. But underneath… Instead of the sand covered training floor that most of the other obstacles had beneath them, the monkey bars hung above a giant pit of deadly looking spikes.
Holy shit. I was beyond dead.
This was what Vira considered doable? All the courses I’d been doing throughout the week paled in comparison to this one.
I mean, I had skills—I knew I did—but this…this was an utter monstrosity.
“Miss Everhart, whilst we may have an eternity to live, I don’t believe any of us would like to spend it—or at least the next eighty years or so of it—watching you gape at the course,” Queen Rayna’s voice called out, shaking me from my thoughts. “Would you like to join us over here?” Though she’d posed it as a question, I could tell from her voice that it was anything but.
Gathering the dregs of whatever bits of courage somehow remained in me, I made my way towards the Queen and her entourage of Councillors, each step bringing me ever closer to what was beginning to feel a lot like my doom.
“Right, now that we’re all here,” the Queen said, shooting a glare at me where I’d stopped a few feet away before sweeping an arm out to gesture to the obstacle course from hell. “Your first task, mortal, is simple: get to the end as fast as possible. If you fall, you fail.”
She didn’t need to say what would happen if I failed. We all knew what would happen if that were to happen.
Nodding, I turned my attention to the course.
It was clear that the mud pit was the start and the monkey bars above the pit of death was the finish—though no markers had been set out to signify them as such. It honestly looked a bit like one of those Ninja Warrior courses you’d sometimes see on TV in the human world, just more…medieval and death-trap-like. With spikes and a hard floor coated in sand beneath instead of water or something cushiony.
“You have fifteen minutes before the clock starts. I suggest you use them wisely.” And with that, Queen Rayna turned away, effectively dismissing me.
I’d just started to walk away to loop around and find my way to the training room floor when the monarch’s voice called out once more. “Oh, I almost forgot. One last thing.”
But when I turned around to face her again, she merely smiled, the sight cold and dead. Then, instead of saying a word, she lifted a hand and snapped her fingers—once, twice.
A low groan emanated through the space. Not the human or even the mechanical kind. But the sound of something starting to move after a long time of being still.
I glanced around, looking for the source. When my eyes fell on the beast of a course below, I could’ve sworn my heart stopped. Stopped, started, then stopped again.
The previously still logs on the fifth obstacle started spinning, as if compelled by some invisible force. And that beam beneath the sandbags? It started moving, too; so that not only were the sandbags swinging in alternating directions, but the beam was jolting about as well.
God freaking bloody damn it. I wasn’t just going to die doing this damned course, I was going to be completely and utterly eviscerated.
What the actual hell had I gotten myself into this time?
~*~
The sand of the training room floor was soft and squishy beneath my black boots as I stood before the start line they’d drawn into the sand before the first obstacle. The fifteen minutes—which were being tracked on the clock they’d somehow projected onto the far wall—were quickly reaching the end of the timer. It was all I could do to not just stand there and count down the remaining seconds.
Two minutes left.
I’d already been standing here for at least five minutes, according to the clock. A fact that I knew they would’ve considered when giving me fifteen minutes to prepare.
Ten would’ve been better. But no, they’d done fifteen. I knew it was to make me sweat, to get into my head without having to say a thing.
If only it wasn’t working so bloody well.
One minute.
I lined up before the start line.
I’d prepared as best I could. I’d asked for and used every ounce of training time I could’ve had. I’d stretched and made sure that my boots, top and leggings wouldn’t come loose—though the similar outfits I’d worn to training hadn’t, so this shouldn’t be much different.
I was ready. Now all I had to do was complete this stupid thing and get this all over with—if only so I could finally get on with the rest of my life.
Five seconds.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
A horn blared in the distance, marking the start of the Trial.
Launching forward, I raced the short distance from the starting line to the first obstacle.
I dropped to the floor just before the thorns started, lying as flat as I could whilst still being able to move in a commando crawl. And, not allowing myself the chance to hesitate, I started inching forward through the foul-smelling mud.
Slowly but surely, I dragged myself through the obstacle, being careful to stay clear of the thorns resting above. Then I was through, clear of the thorns and into the open space beyond that led to the second obstacle.
Hopping straight to my feet, I quickly made my way to the dangling rope hanging from the ceiling. The bell glinted from where it rested against the top of the rope high, high above.
Reaching out, I went to start climbing. I knew how to climb ropes—had been doing it for long before I’d gone to Oxford and met Kayden and Jay. But when my skin came in contact with what should’ve been the coarse, rough, grip-able fibres of the rope, all I felt was something wet and slick, instead.
Snatching my hand back, I glanced at the muddy flesh and then back to the rope.
Either the Council had decided that scaling a fifty-foot rope was not challenging enough for one of their Trials, or someone else had tampered with the obstacle after Vira’s inspection because that had to be oil on the rope. The slippery substance would make it almost impossible to tackle what should have been a somewhat difficult but doable challenge.
But that wasn’t even the worst part. No, it was nowhere near the worst part of the realisation as it hit me.
Because, even if I did manage to start climbing it, there was no way that I would be able to climb the entire fifty-feet, ring the bell, and climb back down without falling.
Kayden
~*~
I knew something was wrong the moment Aurelia paused before the second obstacle.
Especially when she started glancing helplessly between the rope and the Council members who stood watching the entire scene play out from their viewing platform to my right.
And yet, I couldn’t do anything. Not unless I wanted to disqualify her from the Trials before they’d truly begun.
“What’s going on?” I asked Vira who’d sidled up close to me in the shadowy alcove that I hid in the moment the horn had blasted, and Aurelia had taken off.
It was beyond ridiculous that only the Council members and one person of Aurelia’s choosing were allowed to watch the progression of the first phase. Completely and utterly ridiculous.
And yet, here I was, abiding by the rules for once and watching from the sidelines in a place where the Councillors couldn’t sense or see me.
“I don’t know.” Vira shook her head, her braids swaying slightly. “She should be set to climb the rope. It’s higher than anything I’ve seen her try so far, but she always scaled those easily. Something’s wrong.”
Great. Just the thing I’d been hoping she wouldn’t say.
“And we can’t go down there…”
“Nope,” Jay muttered from where he’d been silently watching in the shadows behind me.
Aurelia reached out to touch the rope again before quickly letting go once more. Not quite like it was burning her…
“That’s meant to be a normal rope, right? Not slippery or anything?” I couldn’t tear my eyes away as Aurelia glanced around again, this time taking in the things in her immediate vicinity.
“No. It’s just meant to be ordinary. I checked it over last night. Why? Do you think someone’s tampered with it?” Vira asked.
I could feel the weight of her pale blue gaze piercing me without having to look. “That’s the only explanation…”
But even as I said it, Aurelia seemed to find an answer to whatever it was she’d been looking for.
“Just give her a second. I wouldn’t count her out just yet,” Ravira said, her voice soft as she watched.
Walking towards the brick wall that made up the third obstacle, Aurelia shucked off the form-fitting singlet top she’d been wearing, leaving her in a modest crop-top as she tied the top around her waist, wiping her hands on her leggings as she went. Then, leaving the rope, she started scaling the wall.
Holy gods.
Vira had told me throughout the week that it was clear that Aurelia had already had some training of some form, even though the woman in question remained remarkably tight-lipped about the extent of it. But watching her now…
Each movement she made was fluid, effortless. Almost like she’d done this a thousand times before.
I could hardly recognise the girl who’d stood silently throughout most of the Council Assembly. Could barely see that pink-faced girl who’d flushed embarrassment when she’d walked in the door to our first class at Oxford late.
No. This person—this woman—was one with a mission, a clear goal in mind. And with each passing second that she didn’t call it quits, that she just put her head down and kept going, I could see what I’d struggled to before. This was how she’d broken into the chamber with the dragon egg. This was how she would’ve slipped past the eyes of the Guardians had it not been Jay and I on rotation there. This was the person who would’ve fooled everyone and done what so many would’ve thought impossible.
Glancing back to the assembled Councillors, I could see from most of their gobsmacked faces that they were each having similar thoughts. All, that is, except for the stone-faced Queen at the centre of it all. No, she merely looked on as if she’d expected this.
“Godsdamn,” Jay mumbled, his voice filled with surprise and perhaps even a bit of awe. And I knew that if I looked back, my friend’s eyes would’ve been blown wide.
But Vira…Vira who’d been training with Aurelia all week. Who’d helped her prepare and dust off the skills she’d insisted she had… My sister merely watched as something that should’ve been impossible for a mortal to do so fast happened as easily as breathing for the woman in the training pit below. Like she’d expected it as much as my mother appeared to have.
“I told you so,” Rav said without looking up as Aurelia reached the top of the wall. I blew out a breath, glancing at the giant stopwatch that was being magically projected there on one of the blank walls, tracking her time. Three minutes.
Three minutes to scale a thirty-foot wall.
There was no way I would’ve believed it if I hadn’t just watched Aurelia do right in front of me. Even now, I could scarcely believe how easily she was making it through the course despite it obviously being tampered with.
Not even pausing for a breath, Aurelia simply tugged her singlet top from where she’d secured it around her waist, securing it around her hands. Then, looking for all the world like she was born to do this, she leapt from the wall.
My heart jumped into my throat, a shout building in my lungs as I watched her soar through the air.
Before anyone could do anything—stupid or otherwise—Aurelia landed, wrapping her legs around the swinging rope in a hard to break hold. Making quick work of looping her shirt around the rope, she knotted her shirt over her hands, using it as a barrier between the rope and her skin.
Then, loosening the loop she’d made slightly, she lifted her hands, bringing the shirt up with them, before tightening it again in a higher position. After she’d secured her hands, she shimmied her legs up. Then she did it again and again. Climbing higher and higher.
Each movement was precise, balanced, and efficient. She didn’t shake or tremble.
No, she simply kept moving. Up and up until she reached the bell.
A moment later, the soft, hollow ding of the bell reached us. The sound is as loud as a gong in the silent room.
I was hardly breathing as she started making her way back down the rope, doing the opposite of how she’d climbed up. She dropped her legs down, making sure they were again secure before loosening the loop tying her hands in place, dragging them down before wrapping them tight once more. Again, and again. Taking it one body length at a time.
Until she reached the top of the wall once more.
“What’s she doing?” I murmured, watching as she untied her hands from within the shirt, securing it around her waist once more, utterly entranced by each movement she made.
“I think she’s gonna swing for the wall.” Indeed, before Ravira had even finished speaking, Aurelia had adjusted the way her legs gripped the rope and was already swinging her body to and fro, taking the towering rope with her.
Then, just as she was about to swing straight into the wall, she let go of her handhold on the rope and twisted her upper body. Latching onto the wall so that her upper body was pretty much sprawled on the top of the tower of bricks, her legs unfurled from around the rope. The movement was smooth, practised—taking all of two seconds at most.
Between one breath and the next, Aurelia had swung her body around so that her legs were dangling down the other side of the wall. Then she was climbing down, her hands and feet finding each foothold with little to no effort.
She took longer going down than she had going up, but even then, she still reached the sandy arena floor in record time.
Then, just as she had with every other obstacle so far, she merely moved to the next one. Not pausing for a break, not looking up at anyone watching. Just putting one foot in front of the other.
Aurelia
~*~
I was panting slightly, my body starting to ache from the gymnastics I’d put it through. But I didn’t give myself the chance to stop, to feel the pain.
Instead, I merely moved onto the next obstacle.
Climbing up the short ladder to the platform connecting to the moving balance beam, I used the scant few seconds it took for me to cross the platform to study each movement it made. Left, right, left, up, right, down, left, right, left, up, right, down.
Then I saw it—the lapse where it repeated. Left, right, left, up, right, down. Over and over again.
I almost slumped in relief. At least it would be predictable. But the swinging sandbags… Those were a different issue altogether.
Not giving myself the chance to second guess it, I sprang forward, landing on the edge of the balance beam just before it jerked to the left in the first movement of the sequence.
Sucking in a tight breath, I locked my core, my back straight and my arms out for balance. Then I started edging forward.
I swiftly neared the first sandbag of the five, letting my body move with the beam as I paused. The sandbag swung left and right, to and fro. Just as it swung out of the path of the beam and to the left once more, that’s when I made my move.
I quickly fell into a rhythm of edging forward, waiting, moving with the beam before continuing on. Before long, I’d cleared the obstacle, landing—much to the relief of my legs—on the solid, stationary platform between the beam and the next hellish length of the course.
In front of me, the spinning logs of the second last section of the course rested, the sharpened planks of wood that’d been attached gleaming in the midday sun.
Like all the obstacles before it, I didn’t give myself the chance to hesitate before rushing forward. The first few logs were easy to slip between, angling and maneuvering my body around each of the spikes.
But then came the heart-stopping realization that I hadn’t been able to see properly from the angle I’d been standing on above.
By the half-way mark, I could barely between the spikes. The logs had been positioned into a V shape, the space between them getting smaller and smaller the further in I went.
Shit. How had I been so godsdamn stupid? That was a complete rookie mistake—definitely not one that I should’ve been susceptible to making.
Glancing around helplessly once more, it was all I could do to keep moving, not letting any of the spikes hit me.
There was nothing else for it—I had to go up. There wasn’t enough space to skirt around the outside of the logs; if I tried, I’d just fall off the platform. And if I fell off the platform…
I couldn’t fail. It wasn’t an option.
I couldn't lose the life I’d once seen that dragon offering me—that life of peace and freedom, away from this dead, cold world. That life that I’d spend riding the skies of distant horizons I’d never even dreamed of.
But…I also couldn’t lose the life I’d somehow started building here. Kayden, Ravira, even Jay…
No. Up it was. Then I could hop from one log to another.
It would cost me too much time to go back. So, making what perhaps could be one of the absolute dumbest decisions I’d probably ever made, I gripped the top of the logs on either side of me, the flat surfaces resting at my shoulder height. Then, sucking in a deep breath, I locked my core as tight as possible before pushing up so that my forearms lay on their tops, supporting my weight.
The logs continued spinning, the spikes whacking me gently, not enough to hurt—even as I kept trying to manoeuvre around them. But it was no use; especially considering this wouldn’t even be the worst part.
At least the tops of the logs had been covered in flat, unmoving disks of metal. That at least made something about this whole fucked up experience easier.
Damning it all to hell, I swung forward then back, forward and back, before I used the momentum to swing up and into what had to be one of the neatest, most precise handstands I’d ever done.
But the small bout of pride could do nothing to stop the barking agony from working its way up the sides of my legs, chest and abdomen from where the spikes had hit me.
Which…I kind of deserved, really.
There are so many other ways you could’ve done that. I could practically hear my father’s disapproving voice in the back of my head. And whilst he would’ve been right, if he had been here to actually say it, I also couldn’t ignore the voice saying that I was doing it for him, to get his journal back.
Mentally shaking my head to myself, I slowly lowered myself back down so that I was in the splits above the spinning logs before jumping straight to my feet.
I didn’t stop to check my injuries before I started hopping from one disk to another. Then, before I knew it, I was jumping down onto the next platform before the final obstacle of this cursed course.
Sucking in a deep, steadying breath, I took a moment to block out the aches and pains wreaking torment onto my body. I took that one moment that I hadn’t dared pause for before any other obstacle.
And then I was jumping, reaching out as I leapt for that first ring.
My hand sang out with agony as my flesh met the cold, biting metal of the hoop as the callouses I hadn’t had the chance to build back up properly strained. Then I was moving, swinging my other hand out for the next rung. Again, and again, and again.
Monkey bars had always been one of my least favourite things to do—they’d always been too good at tearing open my hands and overextending my shoulders. But these ones… Even with the pit below, I was making it—to the point that I was only two more away from the end now. My hands easily found their grip as they swung.
Just as I grabbed hold of the next one, though—I didn’t know what happened. One moment I was reaching, seeing the end in sight, and the next, my hand had torn open. A newly formed, hastily built one that hadn’t had the chance to properly form.
Shit.
Then I was slipping, the shoulder of my good hand starting to wrench out of its socket.
I cried out—the first sound I’d really made since the start of this course. The hoarse vocalisation rang out in the silent gym.
Dots danced at the edges of my vision as the pain burned through my shoulder. God. Oh, god.
I was going to fall, wasn’t I?
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
No. I couldn’t die. Not like this.
Not here, where no one would remember my name. Not when I hadn’t really lived.
I was so close.
Think, Aura. Think.
I couldn’t swing—not with only one hand and the ever-increasing pain rocketing through my shoulder. Which meant I couldn’t hook my leg through the next loop. Not easily at least.
Between the blood, mud and oily residue from the rope, I couldn’t grip anything properly using my torn hand. And with the pain lancing through the shoulder of my remaining one, I knew it wouldn’t hold out for much longer.
Muttering a long string of choice words, I listed my options. Then listed them again.
There wasn’t much for it. I could either lever the lower half of my body up so that I could loop my leg through the next ring or daggle from the top using the bar that connected the loops together, or I could fall and die.
Saying a quick prayer under my breath, I tried to keep my shoulder as still as possible as I lifted my legs towards the next ring.
But just as I was curling my leg into the hoop, I felt my grip slip and my shoulder shift out of place even more. Then, before I could do anything further to secure myself in place, my hand slipped that final little bit and I lost my grip entirely.
Falling through the open air, I knew my death wasn’t going to be quick or clean. I knew I was too close to clear the finish platform entirely, but also too far away to land far enough onto the platform that I wouldn’t just rebound off immediately.
Everything seemed to drip by in slow motion as I fell and fell. It was all I could do to twist so that my side would take the brunt of the blow instead of my back.
I was able to see the tiny details of the wooden planks of the platform when what felt like a powerful, dust-filled, dark wind slammed into me, pushing me further onto the platform. Most of my body had crossed onto the wood, and I knew a portion of it had also crossed the white chalk line they’d drawn onto the planks to mark the finish line—meaning I’d officially finished the race.
But I realised a moment too late that the edge of the platform lined up perfectly with the temple of my head.
And then, for the second time in less than two weeks, I felt my head hit something hard and unforgiving. Oblivion swept in.
There were only two words in my head before it all went dark.
Well, shit.